THE AWKWARD MOMENT When you realize you're giving your pen a blowjob... — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Blows Copy Share Image
My therapist thinks I'm arrogant. I'm sure he's just jealous because I'm funny & have so many followers on twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Arrogant Copy Share Image
Just because I send you to voicemail doesn't mean that I want you to leave me one, you fucking asshole! — Nikhil Saluja Text Copy Share Image
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest, I only intended to rough him up a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, want guys to start paying more attention to you? Then start flashing your tits. — Nikhil Saluja Tits Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
A girl will bring you breakfast in bed. A lady will be your breakfast in bed. — Nikhil Saluja Breakfast Copy Share Image
Behind every pretty woman there is a bunch of jealous women making up lies about her. — Nikhil Saluja Lies Copy Share Image
Debt is a form of slavery not prohibited by the Thirteenth Amendment; but it is a form of voluntary servitude that is… — Nikhil Saluja Slavery Copy Share Image
Funny sentence written on the T-shirt of a Beautiful Girl walking on side of the road:.., you are not looking at the… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick Me Kick signs on my back. Then… — Nikhil Saluja Bad grammar Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't… — Nikhil Saluja Doctor Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The blonde student went to the library and checked out a book called How to Hump. She got back to her dorm… — Nikhil Saluja Blonde Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Children : The child is God's gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God… — Nikhil Saluja Adopted Copy Share Image
Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to… — Nikhil Saluja Babe ruth Copy Share Image
How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
