What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
2 blondes go to disneyland the sign said Disneyland left so they went home and cried — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Remember these two words. They will open up a lot of doors in your life. Push and Pull. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear young girls losing their virginity; If your age is on the clock, youre too young for the cock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humor, a touch of romance,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Only a keen sense of public duty restrains me from plugging you where you sit, you ineffable swine.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you can understand the humor in the drawing part you'll probably get the humor in the audio part. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If chocolate was a guy...he'd totally be my boyfriend. He knows how to comfort me in all the right ways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As accidental as my life may be, or as that random humor is, which governs it, I know nothing, after all, so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love everybody...!!! Some I love to be around, some I love 2 avoid, and others I love to punch in the face...... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I've only been to SNL three times, and one time I was there, Chevy and Billy were having a huge screaming fight… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My head says, 'go to the gym.' but my heart says, 'stay on the internet forever and eat tacos!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Oscar Wilde: "I wish I had said that." Whistler: "You will, Oscar; you will.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mom likes playing this game called 'yell from four rooms away and get upset when I cant hear her'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Don't stop at the Ford's because they're at Gerald Flatt's," a short kid says in passing. "Super dooper!" Granny's dentures clickity-clack. "Don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Flurries early, pristine and pearly. Winter's come calling! Can we endure so premature a falling? Some may find this trend distressing- others… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever faced with a difficult situation,try and find some humor in it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
