A friend is like a good bra: close to your heart, hard to find, and supportive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In school they call it Bullying but at work they call it Upper Level Management. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You've always been a great mom because of your patience, sense of humor, and fondness for daytime drinking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Grammar: The main difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TheBiggestLies Classmate: Do you have any gum? ; Me: Nah man, I got it from someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? You don't say anything, just stand there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Baby you light up my world like nobody else I whisper as I turn my laptop brightness up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Think women are the weaker sex? Try pulling the blankets back to your side. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't take life too seriously & always find time to laugh cuz laughter not only add years to your life, but adds… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nobody with any real sense of humor *can* write a love story. . . . Shakespeare is the exception that proves the rule. (90-91) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Onions think that they are ugly because you cry after you get them naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I'm SORRY, but I've moved on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apple was considering making an iPod for kids, but apparently iTouch kids didn't sit too well. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Abignades or abegnades A term used in te department of the Landes for the intestines of a goose cooked in its blood.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish I knew all the answers, how to be perfect, attractive and witty. But I'm just a human being with all… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Corruptio optimi pessima!' Grinned Sir Henry Bessemer . 'Judicio vulgi demens!' Snorted Sir William Siemens .” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mother made a squeaking sound that might of been either yes or help. Poseidon took it as a yes and came… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone says expect the unexpected, slap them and say I bet you didn't expect that! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“. . . a sense of humor is a sense of proportion. It is also a sense of delight--delight in noting life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Guns, double-crosses, hitmen... I can get used to a lot of things, but I'm never going to get used to sleeping where… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When one door closes another one opens. Sometimes its just hell in the hallway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Clapping the longest during the assembly because you're a fearless bastard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
