“In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t good enough to start, so I just rode the bench.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She drew me as a chubby rectangle. But that’s cool, because Chubby Rectangle was my nickname in high school. Hey, it’s better… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't imagine being on the bottom.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My nickname in high school was Catch 22. Not because I was a walking dilemma, but because I had 22 catches freshman… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school, I was on the carpentry team, but I got benched. It was awkward sitting on it while my teammates… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school pottery class, I never made a whole vase. Instead I made fragments that I tried to sell as historical… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school, I was convinced I had super powers. Well, just one really. I was sure I had the gift of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Back in high school, I started a gang called “The Illiterates.” To easily identify fellow gang members, we all wore letterman jackets.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a cube. No it couldn’t. If you thought it could, you need to be punished. I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every morning I cheer on my Cheerios, but I don’t really want them to win. Secretly I’m trying to drown them and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school they called me “Pizza Face.” Not because I had bad acne, though I did, but because I always wore… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only French I know is a kiss. I studied a lot of that foreign tongue in high school.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My high school principal, Mr. Heisenberg, was the uncertain principal.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In all four years of high school, not once did I make the football team. The other part of the story is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If there are #coffee stains on my @Harvard application, it’s because I was up all night Photoshopping a high school diploma. Please… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll only date a girl if she has a lot of class. And if she is 18, I don’t care if that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
