Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You must never tell a thing. You must illustrate it. We learn through the eye and not the noggin. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't make no difference so [long as] you… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
