I don’t think men have time to be funny because they have to make all of our rules about what we can… — Jenny Slate Copy Share Image
You know that you know the true meaning of sacrificial brotherly love when you let someone else be your favorite character in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice;… — George Burns Copy Share Image
“What's happening here?" This last bit was hissed to Ronan and Noah. "Noah took a personal day." "I lost..." Noah struggled for… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
Women say porn sites portray an unrealistic image of their beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. And then they buy 12 inch dildos. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a… — Thomas Sadoski Copy Share Image
When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
If you have a choice between ugly or fat; You can turn lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say… — Aristotle Copy Share Image
Early on, many years ago when we started 'Avatar,' the executive that we were working with said to make the sad scenes… — Bryan Konietzko Copy Share Image
When we [Migos] talk about whatever we're talking about, and you visualise it, that's what we really went through. — Quavo Copy Share Image
The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“I know what party you’re talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you’re going to be there in a… — Chanelle Gray Copy Share Image
Do you ever just lie in your bed,and think: Is this me? Am I really alive? Am I really here? Or is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was seventh grade or something like that when we started falling in love with stuff like Sam Raimi and Wes Craven… — Ross Duffer Copy Share Image
Girl with black hair: I had sex sanding up so I'm going to have a boy. Red head I had sex laying… — Unknow Copy Share Image
“Funny, that. For so long Wormwood had desired the throne and then, when he'd had it, it hadn't been worth desiring after… — John Connolly Copy Share Image
Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I’ve long advised that bloggers seeking to make money from blogging spread their interests across multiple revenue streams so as not to… — Darren Rowse Copy Share Image
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
“Power comes at a price, love," Veliss replied through bared teeth, maintaining the smile she offered to the townsfolk lining the square.… — Anthony Ryan Copy Share Image
My stepfather was a brilliant and funny psychiatrist but he was a hound dog. He just didn't know how to be faithful. — Sean Hepburn Ferrer Copy Share Image
“If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You're either recording a hit song or you're not; you've either got something that's worth recording or you haven't. — Gus Dudgeon Copy Share Image
A lot of bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary". We weren't that intense, we called ourselves "Injured". Later on… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“He chuckled into my hair. My body decided this would be a fine moment to remember that his body was wrapped around… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
If ur world is spinning around and ur heart is beating fast.. Do u think its love? ? ? ? No no… — Curly_girl Copy Share Image
“It's a sweet setup, I'll admit. For all that the maids STILL show up each day with jumbo crucifixes, jumpy movements, and… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
The funny thing is that I've known since I was 7 years old that I was never going to have kids. I… — Kat Von D Copy Share Image
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you But those roses are wilting, the violets are dead,… — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
Little jonny wanted to go to disiney world, so I loaded him up in my car and drove him to a burned… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
... don't be afraid to screw up !... one of the key issues to learning is making mistakes ... if you're not… — Robben Ford Copy Share Image
It isn't what happens to us in life that creates our joy, but rather how we respond to what happens in our… — Debbie Ford Copy Share Image
I think 'Nathan for You' is a really funny show, along with 'The Grinder' and 'Baskets.' I really like 'Man Seeking Woman.'… — Anders Holm Copy Share Image
![“The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.” quote by Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6e8/doug-benson-8961_motion-picture_the-motion-picture-deadpool-was-my-favor_1857267.jpg)
![“When we [Migos] talk about whatever we're talking about, and you visualise it, that's what we really went through.” quote by Quavo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/018/quavo-8176_funny_when-we-migos-talk-about-whatever-we-re_381953.jpg)
