Corin Nemec, who was on television for years, has been through a similar thing. We both had TV shows, we've had to… — David Faustino Copy Share Image
I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a… — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
“She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride.” — Gayle Forman Copy Share Image
If I am totally honest, I would have to say that ''Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
My annoying friend said that running will get my mind off things. He's right, I felt much better after I ran him… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Remind me to show you the latest e-mail from Courtney," he said now, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk. "You won't… — Aimee Agresti Copy Share Image
Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives; very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas… — Voltaire Copy Share Image
It's funny, each time you come back to a tournament you start to feel more and more welcome. It gets familiar. That… — Alex de Minaur Copy Share Image
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based… — David Thewlis Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, How can you hear me mumble under my breath, but you cant hear me yell, WHAT? when you scream my… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
When I was younger, my sister thought it was funny to pretend to punch me in the face because my mom was… — Amy Adams Copy Share Image
It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central, and they've been… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“I had no idea how to respond, and opted for a smile, which serves me well on most occasions (not if it's… — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
“Christopher felt a smile -his first genuine smile in a long time- pulling at his lips. "Does Miss Hathaway have many suitors?"… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
“I came in several times and spoke, but perhaps you were asleep when I thought you were awake.' 'You are very considerate… — R.K. Narayan Copy Share Image
On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Yes," said Margaret, smiling. "You don't have three dead cats on your mantlepiece." Dane stopped short. "DEAD CATS?" he repeated incredulously, taken… — Sarah Brazytis Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
Why do famous people think that they can only date other famous people? They're limiting their chance to find a soul mate,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I'll take these," Danny said, reaching for the bouquet. Just as Kevin was holding them out – and still trying to keep… — Failte Copy Share Image
“I said I was sorry, Dani..." Kevin said, as they entered the apartment. "I'm so not talking to you." "I couldn't help… — Failte Copy Share Image
Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes a large part of… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
The funny thing is I have known AJ Lee. She started in New Jersey; I worked in New York. We have crossed… — Zelina Vega Copy Share Image
I watched a lot of silent directors who were absolutely great like John Ford and Fritz Lang, Tod Browning, and also some… — Michel Hazanavicius Copy Share Image
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate… — George Foreman Copy Share Image
Sorry, I cant hangout. My uncles cousins sister in laws best friends insurance agents roommates pet goldfish died; maybe next time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the… — Virat Kohli Copy Share Image
Everyday life is pretty funny and pretty ridiculous and occasionally really great, though not all the time, and that's all part of… — Owen King Copy Share Image
Ever wonder about the true purpose of mosquitoes? I'm thinking it must be God's source of amusement... watching us slap ourselves! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital room. “Holy shit!” Icka… — Phoebe Kitanidis Copy Share Image
The only good thing about seeing my coworkers on Monday is they're the only people I don't have to apologize to for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's not to love about us! People got to know Misty and me in Athens. We've continued to be successful and continued… — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
School tomorrow same shit fake bitches annoying teachers ratchet hoes fake thugs unnecessary drama annoying ass people — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
