Comedian Quote by Andy Borowitz

Congress is a Mafia running a protection racket.. .

— John P. Wheeler III

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

— Marty Feldman

Congress is where the liars and thieves meet.

— Vikrant Parsai

All the public business in Congress now connects itself with intrigues, and there is great danger that the whole government will degenerate into a…

— John Quincy Adams

When we go to Congress, there are strict rules about what I can be involved with and what I can't be involved with when…

— Tom Reed

Congress is hard to deal with, dealing with, you know, multiple parliaments and commissions and unions and this and that and the other, that's…

— Barack Obama

I've seen Congress do some remarkable things within a short period of time.

— Anthony Foxx

Congress seems drugged and inert most of the time... its idea of meeting a problem is to hold hearings or, in extreme cases, to…

— Shirley Chisholm

The Secret Service hates to complain about something. They're secret by nature. They're not boastful; they don't like to be in the limelight. And…

— Jeh Johnson

The inside operation of Congress - the deals, the compromises, the selling out, the co-opting, the unprincipled manipulating, the self-serving career-building - is a…

— Bella Abzug

Congress always gets new blood. You have to balance that with people who know what's going on. It's no different than a business, it's…

— Michael Capuano

While the US Constitution marks these programs as illegal, my government argues that secret court rulings, which the world is not permitted to see,…

— Edward Snowden