Funny political Quotes

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side

— Thomas Sowell

I bring quadruple diversity to the Senate: I'm a woman; I'll be the first Asian woman ever to be elected to the…

— Mazie Hirono

You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement.

— Tariq Ramadan

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

— Andy Borowitz

I've been a politician and so I'm sometimes cynical about what politicians won't do. When I hear a politician say something that…

— Allan Boesak

If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

— Harry S. Truman

If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the…

— Jon Stewart

A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he…

— Ayn Rand

I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of…

— John F. Kerry

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

— Andy Borowitz

You could not possibly maintain the current level of government taxation without the taxes being hidden, and they are hidden in two…

— Milton Friedman

Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!

— Bill Maher

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

— Andy Borowitz

I see light at the end of the tunnel.

— Walt Whitman Rostow

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

— Bill Maher

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

— Andy Borowitz

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

— Demetri Martin

REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.

— Ambrose Bierce

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

— Andy Borowitz

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

— Andy Borowitz

Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.

— Andy Borowitz

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

— Andy Borowitz

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.

— Andy Borowitz

Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution? Why not just give them ours? We're not using it anymore.

— Jay Leno

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.

— Andy Borowitz