Career politicians Quote by Andy Borowitz

Sarah Palin's a quitter.

— Jesse Ventura

Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not…

— David Letterman

To be completely honest, I don't believe that Palin has any intention of actually running for president. Granted, trying to predict Sarah Palin's next…

— Meghan McCain

Perhaps resigning from her first term in office may hurt Mrs. Palin's attempts to run for higher office. Even I, a Palin supporter, now…

— Andrew Breitbart

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't…

— John Oliver

Sarah Palin, who with 17 months remaining in her single term as Alaska's governor quit the only serious office she has ever held, is…

— George Will

As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president.

— Bill Maher

Sarah Palin has managed to use her failed vice presidential run to put herself in a position of power and influence. Joe Biden won…

— Craig Ferguson

Sarah Palin is backing in be to Republican presidential politics in a big way with a big high profile endorsement decision.That is, I think,…

— Rachel Maddow

I think there are a lot of outside interests that would like to see Sarah Palin in some form of elected office. Most in…

— Lisa Murkowski

What about Sarah Palin. Donald Trump had suggested she would be in his cabinet if he won. Is she going to be in?

— Megyn Kelly

It is hard to know what Sarah Palin means in Republican politics anymore.

— Rachel Maddow