Sorry. Im no longer in a mood to post anything anymore. someone in this house upset me.i don't want to even attempt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had a client who just wanted to entertain me the whole time, that is a defense against going deep, in my… — Kelly Carlin-McCall Copy Share Image
“Little Red, Little Red, what's in the chip bag, Little Red?" And in the same singsong voice I answered, "Nothing at all,… — Neal Shusterman Copy Share Image
I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“And I decided to play the hero. See how it felt. To try." "And?" she asks. "I didn't like it," he admits.… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
No one has ever come back from the other world. I can't console you, but one thing I can tell you, as… — Albert Schweitzer Copy Share Image
“How did you get into the castle, Alexandre, son of Gilles Smith?” Sand shrugged. “A saint kidnapped me from his shrine and… — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
I don't buy the thing that you can't do satire in the age of Trump. You just have to be funny and… — Jesse Armstrong Copy Share Image
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out,… — Larry David Copy Share Image
I've done a lot of theater in my time, and in rehearsals, you're like, 'Well, we find it funny,' but until you… — Phil Dunster Copy Share Image
“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing… — Lita Burke Copy Share Image
A film that I love is 'Raising Arizona' and that's funny but it's quite indie and weird and odd and quirky. I'd… — Stephen Moyer Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“Thirty-four, still undecided on a name, sat practicing his Realm tongue with Draker, although much of the lesson seemed to consist of… — Anthony Ryan Copy Share Image
It is funny now, but in the beginning of my career, some of the films failed at the box office, and filmmakers… — Taapsee Pannu Copy Share Image
“Alec shrugged "Look who's talking. 'Oh, I love her. Oh, she's my sister. Oh why,why,why--" Jace threw a handful of dead leaves… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life… — Desmond Tutu Copy Share Image
“Who wears masks?’ ‘Bank robbers?’ ‘No.’ ‘Really ugly people?’ ‘No.’ ‘Halloween? People wear masks at Halloween.’ ‘Yes! They do!’ He flung his… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
I never thought, 'I'm going to learn how to be funny now!,' and I'm still surprised when other people think I'm funny.… — Lisa Hanawalt Copy Share Image
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“That much sexual tension makes me want to hump a phone pole, and that’s just not attractive in a pregnant woman.” — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In L.A relationships don't last. You go on a vacation and break up by the time you come home. Thank God for… — Judy Carter Copy Share Image
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I… — Tracy Smith Copy Share Image
The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
RAWR does NOT mean I love you in dinosaur. Did you ever see Jurassic Park? It means I'm gonna fuckin eat your… — Brittany Copy Share Image
“You can call me Pastor-and before Mr. Sox Fan gets his panties in a wad, I want everyone to know I'm legit.… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“I was of course discussing the book of Leviticus. I don't know why your mind is so filthy these days, Bingley. ” — Marsha Altman Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
![“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.” quote by Lita Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/78b/lita-burke-34187_funny_pick-up-a-thing-wizard-kadmeion-s-mother_455559.jpg)
