“Arabella- Why you felt it was imperative for me to leave my house in a traveling trunk is still beyond me. You… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“Warren returns from his room and sits back down at the table. "I walked away for dramatic effect," he says. "I wasn't… — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
“I’m not going to fucking calm down. I’m going to hunt that bastard down and murder him.” “Oh fuck,” Hank rocked back… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
I make up random funny weird quotes but they are allways duplicates in some way wtf... thumbs up if it happens to… — Drew Fonner Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There are so many funny people and so many talented people, but the one thing nobody else has is my take on… — Ross Mathews Copy Share Image
Dear Boys, Until you start having periods, babies, and watching the one you love be with someone else, you're not as strong… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And it is only the woman who cheers her husband through lifes thick and thin, good and bad situations and stands firmly… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“He's all right. His hair is cute." Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. " Oh my God, you're in… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
“I’m just glad you didn’t die while we were gone,” Brent said. “He’d be so pissed. And you know, you’d be dead.… — Bree Despain Copy Share Image
Where are my sensations? They have melted into... me, and what is this me, this self, but the sum of these evaporated… — Emile M. Cioran Copy Share Image
I never had money for anything. But I tell you what did really work - books. Between the covers of those books… — Benjamin Carson Copy Share Image
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I survived 12 years of my life with no internet, but now I can't survive like 12 seconds waiting for a page to load. — Johnneil Bertrand Copy Share Image
“We should go swimming," Anna says, out of the blue. (...) Danny looks at her like she just suggested knocking over the… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny;… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
My background is all comedy. I've been doing improv since I was 17. It's funny, because when I meet people, I'm known… — Derek Mears Copy Share Image
God did not create woman as a s3x object for man. He created woman so that she may become his equal partner… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of… — Patty Duke Copy Share Image
What's funny is that in the '90s, growing up in the black church, everyone around you was older, so your swag became… — Kirk Franklin Copy Share Image
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“What? What's so funny? Some idiot tried to put a stake through your heart, and he didn't even hit the darn thing!"… — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
You Could Walk a Mile In My Shoes But You Still Wouldn't GetMe Even If I Can With Instructions, So Tell Me,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more… — Yuval Noah Harari Copy Share Image
I find it quite funny to see players rolling over trying to win free-kicks or get opponents booked. I've never done that,… — Shaun Wright-Phillips Copy Share Image
If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think comedy necessarily comes from a dark place. But I do think what a lot of us have in common… — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
I want to wake up with you in the morning hours. I want to get hot and sweaty together. I want us… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did You Know About My relationship with my sibling(s)? We're pretty close. Although, my older sister and I argue a lot:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people. — Bobbie Copy Share Image
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them.… — George Burns Copy Share Image
“Am I higher or lower than she? It was always the vital question for Anna: who was superior, and how she could… — Laura L. Sullivan Copy Share Image
“The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it,… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
Our fan of the week is... Daisy Alejandra! Congratulations í. To get picked as our next fan of the week, post on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
