Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say 'My Bad!' — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
No genre is easy. For an actor, it's a serious business even when he's essaying a funny character. In fact, comedy is… — Atul Kulkarni Copy Share Image
I saw 'Annie Hall' with a group of people working in comedy and television. We were all stunned. Stunned. It was like… — James L. Brooks Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
Sorry I haven't been on I have softball like almost everyday and I don't finish until late so I'm sorry I can't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Well, I've seen porn!" Evan defends and Dan just looks at him. "Okay, captain Pornie, walk me through it," Dan challenges. "I'll… — Kate Sherwood Copy Share Image
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“Pop culture. Nobody does bullshit better than us. Right? China took over manufacturing. And the Middle East has us on fossil fuels.… — Damon Suede Copy Share Image
“I stare past her at the inspirational kitten posters. There's one of a soaking-wet kitten climbing out of a toilet with the… — Robin Stevenson Copy Share Image
![“[N]ever stop being yourself.” quote by Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0b6/anonymous-1_being-yourself_n-ever-stop-being-yourself-958099_958099.jpg)
