Found Quotes by Jay Leno

16 Found quotes by Jay Leno

Leno’s humor often lands on that moment when something unexpected is finally found. Across sixteen jokes you’ll catch his quick wit and the everyday charm of his observations.

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U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss…

Jay Leno

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A new study published by The British Medical Journal found that inactivity can kill you. I mean, these are the kind of…

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Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America.

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A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.

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Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.

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Researchers found a frog in new guinea that is so tiny, they believe it's the smallest vertebrate on the planet. It has…

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Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's…

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The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National…

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A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of…

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American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants…

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The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just…

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A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good…

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The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do…

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Former Enron founder Ken Lay and CEO Jeffrey Skilling found guilty in the Enron case. Ken Lay is so guilty I'm surprised…

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Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha…

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A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives.…

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More by Jay Leno

If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

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Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…

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Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

Jay Leno

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There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…

Jay Leno

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“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…

Jay Leno

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Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…

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American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…

Jay Leno

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I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…

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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

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The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…

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The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…

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Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…

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Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…

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Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…

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