“Blankets could be used as scapegoats for global warming. But why blame the blankets? Wouldn’t it be more fun, and more accurate,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to keep politicians warm, when we kick them all to the street. They’ll be warm, but they’ll be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to identify liars and thieves, if lawmakers passed laws stating that lawmakers were required by law to wear… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.” ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to make perimeter walls, to keep out an invading army wielding pillows instead of swords. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to represent the warmth and comfort of Libertarian ideals. And the world would be a better place, if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
