“And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither… — Kristin Walker Copy Share Image
Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Of course, in my mind, violence would have been better, but since that wasn’t an option, I decided to play along. “It’s… — Jeanne McDonald Copy Share Image
“I often wonder what she's thinking," says Ed, still gazing up at her. "That's quite an intriguing expression she has." "I often… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
I don't deliberately go into comedy or go into indies, but I do deliberately try to keep changing tact, because I think… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
“In the cramped confines of the toilet I had trouble getting out of my wet trousers, which clung to my legs like… — Geoff Dyer Copy Share Image
When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I saw soda pop for $1.20 a six pack. That price messes with your head. You start thinking you're gonna sell soda… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. " What's true?" "Alexander," said Magnus… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“There is a crucifix, a few cloves of garlic, a wooden stake, a hammer, a blob of Silly Putty, and a pocketknife.… — Pittacus Lore Copy Share Image
“I did not tremble to lose what men called beauty, but I feared the loss of my spirit and humor and love… — David Liss Copy Share Image
I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show… — Rachael Ray Copy Share Image
“I never wish I could go back and write more, no. I spent a long, long time trying to write the book… — John Green Copy Share Image
“I stare at him. "Gee, don't feel like you have to sugarcoat it or anything." "Some people need a cold dose of… — D.D. Barant Copy Share Image
“Kindness is a source of relief to the soul of the giver, creating a sense of fortitude that is incomprehensible to those… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“The modern materialist often makes it simply: "Do what you like," and then rushes off to ask his psychoanalyst when he no… — Joy Davidman Copy Share Image
“I’ve been trying to write the perfect book since high school. e results are in a large Rubbermaid tub in my closet.… — Jason W. Freeman Copy Share Image
“You broke through the humor of my little theater and tried to make a mess of it, stabbing with knives and spattering… — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“I like to eat chicken, but I don’t like live chickens. With their feathers and beaks and weird noises and flapping wings.”… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
Honestly, Think Like a Man was the first romantic comedy that I liked. I'd kind of avoided them for awhile because I… — Michael Ealy Copy Share Image
[Robert Smigel] is one of the greatest comedy writers in the last 50 years. "TV Funhouse" and Triumph and all those sketches.He's… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
I always think about visual comedy. I was raised watching silents, and I'm always thinking about how to make cinema, not good… — Alexander Payne Copy Share Image
“Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
SHERIFF, n. In America the chief executive office of a country, whose most characteristic duties, in some of the Western and Southern… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Each one of us, in his timidity, has a limit beyond which he is outraged. It is inevitable that he who by… — Man Ray Copy Share Image
“Jacqueline and Jillian, who were crying for some of the many reasons that babies cry—they were cold, they were distressed, they were… — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
“What happened to your face?' he asked. 'When I was little, my grandmother was making candles and she had a big vat… — Caragh M. O'Brien Copy Share Image
My first films were comedy, 'Murder By Death,' and 'The Cheap Detective.' But now they won't think of me as a comedian.… — James Cromwell Copy Share Image
“Sam found a chair under Robin’s butt and evicted him from it, bringing it over to his pregnant wife.“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking,”… — Suzanne Brockmann Copy Share Image
Books are never out of humour; never envious or jealous, they answer all questions with readiness; ... they teach us how to… — Holbrook Jackson Copy Share Image
“Junction nineteen! Una, she came off at Junction nineteen! You've added an hour to your journey before you even started. Come on,… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
“difficult to see the glass ceiling because it’s made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly… — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
“As a matter of fact, with all his wit, humor, raillery, persiflage, he was the profoundest logician that ever appealed to the… — Herman E. Kittredge Copy Share Image
“Though she would never admit it to polite Society, Lady Georgette Thorold hated brandy almost as much as she hated husbands. So… — Jennifer McQuiston Copy Share Image
Do as little harm to others as you can; make any sacrifice for your true friends; be responsible for yourself and ask… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“Babies don't come with instruction booklets. You'd learn the same way we all do -- you'd read up on dinosaurs, you'd Google… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
“I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now?… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Reading the book now means that one can, if one wants, play Fantasy Literature--match writers off against each other and see who… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
![“[Robert Smigel] is one of the greatest comedy writers in the last 50 years. "TV Funhouse" and Triumph and all those sketches.He's really unique, and he has an amazing comedy mind.” quote by Neal Brennan](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/e39/neal-brennan-4937_comedy_robert-smigel-is-one-of-the-greatest-com_216251.jpg)
