“Toph looks at me. I nod gravely. In this world, in our new world, there will be rocking. We will pay tribute… — Dave Eggers Copy Share Image
Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“There is something so INEVITABLE about seven-and-twenty; it is decidedly on the wrong side of the decade for a lady, particularly an… — Stephanie Barron Copy Share Image
I came from the Groundlings Theatre in L.A., and there, you're guaranteed to at least try something out in front of an… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
“THOMASINA: But then the Egyptian noodle made carnal embrace with the enemy who burned the great library of Alexandria without so much… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
“Claudette Colbert was not Hollywood’s greatest beauty, but her trim little figure, round, kitten-like face, and obviously intelligent good humor made her… — Eve Golden Copy Share Image
“Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
The more a character wants and the less a character has the ability to get what they want, the more you have… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
As for me, I believe that if there's a God - and I am as neutral on the subject as is possible… — Elizabeth McCracken Copy Share Image
“In this book I will teach you, based on stuff I have either made up, observed, or overheard, how to live the… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I have always found men who were funny, irresistible. It's rare that I ever based love on looks or superficial things, but… — Gilda Radner Copy Share Image
“TIMING TOAST Grook on how to char for yourself There's an art of knowing when. Never try to guess. Toast until it… — Piet Hein Copy Share Image
“Where were you?" I know my husband well enough to know when he's reaching for an excuse. I stare at his lips,… — Joz Maxel Copy Share Image
“If only Myrtle would pay attention to the Boy's Own Journal, Blackwood's Magazine, etc., she would know that these creatures were Threls,… — Philip Reeve Copy Share Image
“Dear Eldritch Snitch. I slap you with the satin glove of righteous wrath! From what noxious nest of nattering nincompoopery do you… — James Kennedy Copy Share Image
Don't judge anybody until you've walked a mile in their shoes. After that it doesn't matter, because they're a mile away and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He sits down on the edge of the bed. “I wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t food or family.” There’s no… — Cat Hellisen Copy Share Image
“Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler's neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humour. As I see it, this is a typically English form of… — Alfred Hitchcock Copy Share Image
“I guess that was nice of Chiron, for the dogs' sake, but it kind of makes me wonder if he's got a… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“The strangeness of the Barrayaran government system with all its unwritten customs, pressed on Cordelia not so much as first glance but… — Lois McMaster Bujold Copy Share Image
I grew up watching 'Big Train,' these collectives of comedians who knew each other, and as a comedy fan you knew who… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
“Any historian of warfare knows that it is in good part a comedy of errors and a museum of incompetence; but if… — Richard Hofstadter Copy Share Image
“Bill Cosby said it pretty eloquently: “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“Jeth had an unnatural talent for nuclear physics. Should that be a crime? He didn't like governments. Who did? How smart do… — Tom Francis Copy Share Image
It's interesting because with a lot of people who I've met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is.… — Ellie Kemper Copy Share Image
Most of the comedy characters I played have been extensions of my own personality and very similar to Mike Channel. It's a… — Angus Deayton Copy Share Image
“You aren't human. Your mother is a...sex demon." She tripped over that a little, because seriously, that was one of those things… — Larissa Ione Copy Share Image
The best version of comedy is when you can get to an issue where, at some point, you're not firmly on one… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
“I was reminded of the time I got a free upgrade to first class, where I sat right next to Sean Connery.… — Lionel Shriver Copy Share Image
“Will, my darling, my angel, the light of my life - I'm actually relieved you're gay. You really weren't all that excited… — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
I think a sense of humor is the emotional equivalent of a sense of realism. One should not take everything seriously, and… — Michael Maccoby Copy Share Image
Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy,… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
A rule of thumb with humor; if you worry that you might be going too far, you have already not gone far… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“I tended to be skeptical of anything that couldn't be measured, written down, and independently verified across a series of double-blind tests.… — Max Barry Copy Share Image
“I have read of a gentleman who owned a so fine house in London, and when he went for months of summer… — Bram Stoker Copy Share Image
“Walking was a habit he'd been unwilling to give up. He couldn't see the point in shutting himself up in a vehivle… — Eileen Wilks Copy Share Image
“Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“I hate the notion of a secret recipe. Recipes are by nature derivative and meant to be shared - that is how… — Molly Wizenberg Copy Share Image
