“I was rolling the dead warrior over to steal his cloak, too, knowing it would be far too large on me, when… — Kimberly Derting Copy Share Image
“She had turned away and was watching a duck out on the lake. It was tucking into weeds, a thing I've never… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“If we'd done this my way,' Garrett went on, 'We'd have been here much earlier.' 'And drunk, most likely,' said Maiev. 'You… — Grant Smuts Copy Share Image
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The best everyday example of relativity, the finest symptom of human intelligence, is humor. (...) Design without humor is not human. The… — Philippe Starck Copy Share Image
“Amy let him lead her to the dance area. She gasped when he immediately tugged her body against his. Clearly Erik had… — Ana Blaze Copy Share Image
“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the… — Charlotte Brontë Copy Share Image
And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Women are like remote controls. It gives a man pleasure, hed be lost without it, and while he doesnt always know the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She fucking turns me inside out." "Women who matter have a way of doing that." Lucas scowled. "We sound like a couple… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
You have to laugh at yourself. I do a lot of humor about all ethnicities that are at the show - Latinos,… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I think we all have a similar philosophy about comedy and comic performance which is that it's at its best when you… — Mathew Baynton Copy Share Image
“ Napoleon , when hearing about Laplace 's latest book, said, ' M. Laplace , they tell me you have written this… — Pierre-Simon Laplace Copy Share Image
They would spend a lot of their time simply walking around in the woods or in the cities, or they would come… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Why, my goodness, honey. After looking at all those pictures of seraphic and perspirationless babes for so long in the privacy of… — Margaret Mitchell Copy Share Image
“So...Rayna and Nico," he said. "From the secon she saw him," I agreed. "They seem good together," Ben said. Then he smiled,… — Hilary Duff Copy Share Image
“She needs you, Dad," Julia says. "She has unfinished business in this world." "What is the matter with you?" Charlie asks his… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“His cell-phone rang. Dominic fumbled for it on the nightstand next to the couch, the dim lights not helping his endeavour. He… — T.P. Grish Copy Share Image
I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
When I get a cold sore, I put Carmex on it, because Carmex is supposed to alleviate cold sores. I don't know… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
All my jobs have been with food in one way or another since 1948. My parents were in the hotel business, and… — Graham Kerr Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
In the office, I actually act quite demented the whole day. Like Monty Python. That's my favorite kind of humor. My assistants… — Italo Zucchelli Copy Share Image
I'm sure there are people who survive tragedy without humor, but I've never met any of them. Nor would I be particularly… — Ayelet Waldman Copy Share Image
“She is a famous artists' model who claims to have been christened Topaz - even if this is true there is no… — Dodie Smith Copy Share Image
A lot of people end up being comedians because, well really, they're just Chandler Bing at heart. We mask our emotions with… — Chris McCausland Copy Share Image
“The sleds accelerated quickly as they glided effortlessly over the smooth ice. We had never before experienced such a quick, easy slide.… — Daniel Boerman Copy Share Image
“I love your sense of humor and the fact you never ate grits before. There’s so much I love about you that… — J. Lynn Copy Share Image
“It made him feel like less of a man. And given how much less of a man he’d felt the past several… — Heidi Betts Copy Share Image
In building a management team, I look for integrity, loyalty, vision, and a willingness to think outside of the box, and challenge… — Shari Redstone Copy Share Image
These guys Steve Harvey and Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac claim they're the Kings of Comedy. They may be funny, but… — Rudy Ray Moore Copy Share Image
“Evelyn was followed in by a sour-faced woman with long, glamorous dark hair and a stern-looking gentleman in a tuxedo who looked… — Kristopher Jansma Copy Share Image
“Hermes's eyes twinkled. "Martha, may I have the first package, please?" Martha opened her mouth ... and kept opening it until it… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“If anyone had appeared in just a pair of boxer shorts or swimming trunks, the womenfolk would have had "an attack of… — Philip Ardagh Copy Share Image
I remember like that scene with Pharrell where they're at the music video shoot, we have this on camera actually, Pharrell's confused… — Nicholas Stoller Copy Share Image
“When Renee and I talked about it years later, we agreed on one point: We were insane. Renee always said, "If any… — Rob Sheffield Copy Share Image
If you haven't got a sense of humor you're making your life a hundred times harder. It doesn't matter what happens to… — Jack Bruce Copy Share Image
