Iliza Shlesinger

I've never been a dirty comic.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I believe in always having a lot of irons in the fire.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I'm certainly not a supermodel.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I'm going to die unhappy. That's how artists roll!

— Iliza Shlesinger

It's always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.

— Iliza Shlesinger

Part of being a comic is being flexible, being versatile.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I love getting insight into what makes actors tick.

— Iliza Shlesinger

You're never going to please 100 percent of women.

— Iliza Shlesinger

If a guy is just genuine and honest, girls gravitate towards that, and girls love it when you open up.

— Iliza Shlesinger

You can't deny the truth. And that's what makes smart comedy so good.

— Iliza Shlesinger

When all my girlfriends were watching 'ER,' I was watching episodes of 'Kids in the Hall.'

— Iliza Shlesinger

I would tell my 23-year-old self to be friends with more comics.

— Iliza Shlesinger

When you travel, try having an open mind, not just about the city that you're in but about the surrounding areas.

— Iliza Shlesinger

Getting on stage and screaming at all Republicans does nothing more than isolate people.

— Iliza Shlesinger

You're not a road comic till you've watched Real Sex and American Greed alone in your hotel room.

— Iliza Shlesinger

You can make people laugh, but having them really want to hear what you have to say, that takes trust and time.

— Iliza Shlesinger

As women, and as people, we're often forced to choose between pop culture and tearing down celebrities or a show about politics.

— Iliza Shlesinger

No matter who you date, people are going to make fun of them, jealous people are going to say stuff, people get…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think…

— Iliza Shlesinger

You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny,…

— Iliza Shlesinger

When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you…

— Iliza Shlesinger

What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I have the comedic chops and intelligence to raise points and discuss both sides of whatever is on our mind as a…

— Iliza Shlesinger

We've all been there, onstage. You say something you don't mean, you make fun of something on accident but... This wasn't that.…

— Iliza Shlesinger

The more comprehensive your language is, the more likely people are to believe everything you're saying. It really just comes from the…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I learned this one growing up in Texas and, subsequently, living in Los Angeles: always use the 'usted' form when speaking to…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I've had girls that kissed me on the cheek. People get so pumped, and so excited, they don't see you as a…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like,…

— Iliza Shlesinger

“We try to stay as thin as possible - which also keeps us weak. When you're skinny, you have no body fat;…

— Iliza Shlesinger

If you think you're good enough, then you find it preposterous when somebody doesn't acknowledge that... That's propelled me in many ways…

— Iliza Shlesinger

Ladies, just know that when you grow your hair too long, you got about two inches difference between really hot, sexy supermodel…

— Iliza Shlesinger

When you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up.…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I really respect Samantha Bee.

— Iliza Shlesinger

Standup is a tough job and a gritty job.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I was a big fan of sketch comedy and cartoons growing up.

— Iliza Shlesinger

My comedy is a bit cartoonlike, if I really think about it.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I really respect my craft and obligation to my audience.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I prefer social politics to politics.

— Iliza Shlesinger

I was always rewarded for being funny. I liked being funny.

— Iliza Shlesinger

My family is funny. I think you're born with the gene.

— Iliza Shlesinger