Comedian Quotes

I'm not a comedian.

— Anonymous

A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

— Dolly Parton

I'm not a comedian, I'm an actor.

— Chris Diamantopoulos

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

— Adam Carolla

Look at what you could have won.

— Jim Bowen

Music takes us where words cannot.

— Henry Winkler

“My ship came in,then it sank!”

— Brian T. Shirley

Architects are the new comedians.

— Simon Doonan

“God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” -Voltaire”

— Angela Roquet

Chong is my comedy idol, he has everything I want to be as a comedian

— Amanda Hernandez

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

— George Carlin

I feel that I'm a stand-up comedian more than anything else, that's my job.

— Lee Mack

I'm never going to be an improv comedian.

— Andre Braugher

Down deep in His heart God is a comedian who loves to make us laugh.

— Arthur Miller

I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.

— Carlos Mencia

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

— Buddy Hackett

Louis CK went from a writer/comedian to winning Emmys for his own show because he works his ass off.

— Ted Alexandro

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

— Jim Gaffigan

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

— Shelley Berman

I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to…

— Jackie Mason

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a…

— Larry David

Gilbert Gottfried, I think, is just the most underappreciated comedian in the world. I think that he doesn't get enough credit for…

— Brett Gelman

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

— Mitch Hedberg

That's how to make a stand-up comedian: You take a person who is uncomfortable and try to squirrel their way out of…

— W. Kamau Bell

It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more…

— Rachel Weisz

I try not to focus on politics too much - I would never be described as a hugely political woman - but…

— Katherine Ryan

If you watch most of the stuff on TV and in movies, it's usually put-down humor. It's like somebody being mean or…

— Paul Rust

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three…

— Joy Behar

I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how…

— Denis Leary

Being a comedian, all the stress is there in the moment of doing it. The rest of it is mint: you hang…

— Rose Matafeo

Anyone you give a ton of money to is going to go slightly crazy. I don't think comedians are particularly special in…

— Nick Kroll

I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of…

— David Steinberg

Some street jokes are just timeless. There's an old street joke about comedians. The joke is that a beautiful girl comes up…

— Amy Schumer

My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would…

— Andrew Dice Clay

I have a very high respect for professional comedians. What they do astonishes me. You have to be really smart and absorb…

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and…

— Jim Gaffigan

We [me and my husband] both had our things. Seth was the artist, I was the singer. We were like "You do…

— Rachael MacFarlane

Funny bones, to me, are more important than funny lines. If a comedian is just not likable and doing the lines, you…

— Ricky Gervais

I made sure that instead of people making fun of me, like every comedian probably says, I made fun of myself first…

— Eliza Coupe

I was bad at sports and picked last every day. I couldn't quite figure out what my role was in the social…

— Judd Apatow