All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do… — Ron White Copy Share Image
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars. — Ron White Copy Share
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian… — Ron White Copy Share
I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice.… — Ron White Copy Share
