As a comedian, you have to say something that people relate to, or nobody laughs. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
What made me a comedian was staying on the stage and starting to talk. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
Some people are brilliant at being comedy actors and if you're a comedian I think there's a perception that, if you're acting… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I'm not saying everyone who has a problem in their relationship should be a comedian, but I think if you're to work… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I love pure joke-tellers, but if I go to see a comedian for a full show, I want to feel I know… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I go out with my mates and after a drink they'll ask, 'How are you a comedian? You're not the funniest among… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
In 2006, I left my job in sales and marketing to go full-time as a comedian, and I started off doing panto… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
If you're a musician, you create what you love and hope other people love it as well. Amongst musicians, the starting point… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
What you have to do as a comedian, that I suppose is quite difficult, is you have to end it. All the… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
You know what I mean, I'm not Tom Cruise. I can act as long as the character happens to look and sound a lot… — John Bishop Copy Share
I'm the type of bloke who gets a flatpack cabinet from Ikea, puts it together without reading the instructions, then gets the drill out… — John Bishop Copy Share
We live on a two week cycle in our house so if I go away for two weeks, it's too long. And if I'm… — John Bishop Copy Share
There's no slowing down but I've got to be honest, I'm probably not going to learn French. — John Bishop Copy Share
I started at 34 and I didn't go full time until I was 40. When I say started, I mean the first time I… — John Bishop Copy Share
I didn't want to do comedic acting because I don't think I am very good at it. — John Bishop Copy Share
What I found absolutely the best thing about comedy is it's a little club. You find yourself part of this strange needy society of… — John Bishop Copy Share
When I was 10 I had a bone disease called osteomyelitis; they said if they didn't operate, I had 24 hours to live. — John Bishop Copy Share
I can only develop a stand-up show by being on stage. I can't write it. Whenever I see comedy written down, it very rarely… — John Bishop Copy Share
Being on stage, telling jokes and telling stories is where I feel the most at home. — John Bishop Copy Share
When I was 30 we had two kids, a third on he way. I was working for a pharmaceutical company. I had been married… — John Bishop Copy Share
I want to do straight, dramatic acting so I do a hit show when you get chased by aliens! — John Bishop Copy Share
