As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them… — Ron White Copy Share Image
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a… — Ron White Copy Share Image
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM… — RON WHITE Copy Share Image
I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn't a funny guy… — Ron White Copy Share Image
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I'm very 'preacher-ish' on… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars. — Ron White Copy Share
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian… — Ron White Copy Share
I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice.… — Ron White Copy Share
