I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take… — Ron White Copy Share Image
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share Image
Donald Trump - and I don't dislike Donald one single bit - has no idea how good the Mexican people are at… — Ron White Copy Share Image
People used to say I'm regional, but I'm not... We all have the same human condition. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I guarantee there's people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show. — Ron White Copy Share Image
People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across… — Ron White Copy Share Image
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I'm very 'preacher-ish' on… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do… — Ron White Copy Share Image
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore;… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down… — Ron White Copy Share Image
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it. — Ron White Copy Share Image
We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ...… — Ron White Copy Share Image
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars. — Ron White Copy Share
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian… — Ron White Copy Share
I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice.… — Ron White Copy Share
