“Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.” — Joey Comeau End is near Copy Share Image
Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it. — Joey Comeau Alzheimer Copy Share Image
Home is where the heart is, until we get a chance to bury it. Home is where the heart pulled the nails… — Joey Comeau Chance Copy Share Image
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices. — Joey Comeau Choices Copy Share Image
“I can't believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I'm the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.” — Joey Comeau Funny Copy Share Image
Death is not the end. Death is an ocean on all sides of our lives. Deep and dark and cold, and anything… — Joey Comeau Chaos Copy Share Image
I never wanted anything to happen to my parents, but a hero needs an origin story. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
When someone says, That's fuckin' Gay! the best responce is, Yes, I like it too! — Joey Comeau Homosexuality Copy Share Image
“I break into heterosexual houses so I can masturbate in their heterosexual kitchens” — Joey Comeau Heteronormativity Copy Share Image
Art isn't just paint and music, art is breaking glass and the sounds we make without realizing. — Joey Comeau Art Copy Share Image
We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn't race for a hurricane… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Before your mother I didn't spend too long with any one girl. I used to believe that life was too short. I… — Joey Comeau Life Copy Share Image
“Halfway through the televised debate I kick my boot into the screen. Even on mute I can't stand it. It feels good… — Joey Comeau Political system Copy Share Image
There's a romance to danger. There's a romance to drinking, to drugs, to petty crime and to heartbreak and loneliness. All of… — Joey Comeau Crime Copy Share Image
“I get scared thinking about the yawning void of space and the maddening smallness of our solar system in it, and the… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping… — Joey Comeau Book Copy Share Image
Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible… — Joey Comeau Bible Copy Share Image
“She needs you, Dad," Julia says. "She has unfinished business in this world." "What is the matter with you?" Charlie asks his… — Joey Comeau Business Copy Share Image
“I hope that you are a disaster. I'm sorry, but I do. I hope that you are thunder and lightning. I hope… — Joey Comeau Disaster Copy Share Image
“I think it would be cool if we wore suits while we committed these violent acts of retribution. Not fancy suits. No.… — Joey Comeau Humor Copy Share Image
I live to feel her fingers move inside of me like this. The bus makes another stop. A fat man climbs aboard,… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Monogamy is defined by what it is not, just as much as by what it is," I say, "We couldn't have monogamy… — Joey Comeau Monogamous Copy Share Image
“I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I don't know what you believe in. I believe we just stop. Because if we move on to an afterlife, any kind… — Joey Comeau Afterlife Copy Share Image
“I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of… — Joey Comeau Comic Copy Share Image
Dear Nintendo, We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I think the best life would be one that's lived off the grid. No bills, your name in no government databases. No… — Joey Comeau Cell phone Copy Share Image
“Hello, there should be more advice about dealing with depression when you're stupid and worthless, so here is a self help exercise.… — Joey Comeau Depression Copy Share Image
