My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Luckily for us, I've never met a bad idea I did not immediately embrace like the dearest of friends.” — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
“It's not how fast you move through life, Vivia, or how perfectly you execute the moves, but that you do it with… — Faking It (It Girls #1 Leah Marie Brown Copy Share Image
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny. — Roz Chast Copy Share Image
“Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the… — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
You know what guys & parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicaps. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
“I am not certain I liked you referring to my brother as a monster.” There was a trace of humor in Mikhail’s… — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
I love Narcy, he's such a good artist. I know him personally, he's a friend. He's of my generation - he puts… — Ramy Youssef Copy Share Image
“It was said with humor, but the criticism wasn't lost on Gamache. He was fishing, and he knew it. So did Sommes.… — Louise Penny Copy Share Image
“If I have a bow and arrow, Commander, I don't shoot a padded shaft to my target's left in order to express… — Peter David Copy Share Image
Jackass: The Movie is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to… — Matthew Barney Copy Share Image
If people think I'm a heartthrob, cool; as long as you respect my comedy and like to laugh, you can think whatever… — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
I'd never really done comedy before 'Community,' so getting to work day in and day out with all these great people, directors,… — Gillian Jacobs Copy Share Image
“He dislikes even to touch these things, for they are the runes of an idiotic but nevertheless potent and evil magic; the… — Christopher Isherwood Copy Share Image
I have touched all genres, be it comedy, tragedy or negative roles. — Himani Shivpuri Copy Share Image
“We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
