“(Dad) could not abide us feeling sorry for ourselves. Life was far too good for us to whine about small things. It… — Jean Kennedy Smith Copy Share Image
“My father was a patient father. He was so patient that when he once saw a sign that read ‘Patient Entrance’ at… — Shoeburn Ruffet Copy Share Image
“I'll see you there little Red.' Fane’s voice faded out of her mind and she could feel his humor. Oh, wasn't he… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
“Will knelt beside me. I wished I could have taken a holo of him at that moment and played it for him… — Cameron Stracher Copy Share Image
“Your topsoil's a disaster area — it's starved for nitrogen, it's been fertilized for years by the criminally insane, and whatever thief… — Peter S. Beagle Copy Share Image
“Dionysus, as the God of Wine, suggested that the occasion should be turned into a magnificent orgiastic event, with the Muses &… — Nicholas Chong Copy Share Image
“I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike… — Wodehouse Copy Share Image
It would be so irresponsible not to speak up. I don't know what I would do in my home and in my… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
“I have never heard any of your lectures, but from what I can learn I should say that for people who like… — Artemus Ward Copy Share Image
“Lavender Lady not go again," Kiki said in my mind. "I'll try to avoid it. No promises, though." She huffed. "Next time… — Maria V. Snyder Copy Share Image
“You need your beauty sleep for tomorrow" she tells us "don't stay up too late talking" We ignore her of course.The whole… — Heather Vogel Frederick Copy Share Image
“When someone's rattling on about blocked toilets, collapsing marquees, and penis-shaped birthday cakes, it's hard to convince yourself that you're in a… — Catherine Jinks Copy Share Image
Xylophone is spelled with an X. That's wrong. It should be a Z up front. Next time you spell xylophone, use a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I remembered Father remarking once that if rudeness was not attributable to ignorance it could be taken as a sure sign that… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My philosophy is making a movie is difficult enough and I just feel as if you should have a really good time… — Will Packer Copy Share Image
I spend a lot of time on social media and people ask me if the abuse I get is upsetting, but working… — David Baddiel Copy Share Image
“My palms were sweaty despite the aridity, and my heart beat at an accelerated pace. What if she had been kidnapped? Or… — Laurel Ulen Curtis Copy Share Image
I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and… — Judy Garland Copy Share Image
I think all tragedies are best told with some humor. You have to relieve the darkness to let the reader get through… — Alan Lightman Copy Share Image
“I hop onto the stage and joke-sing: “The Phaaaanntom of the Opera is there, innnnnside your mind.” I attack the curtain with… — Anne Eliot Copy Share Image
“Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do… — Diana Wynne Jones Copy Share Image
“For me hotness was a complicated matter involving brains, humor, and some other things, but all that aside, I was willing to… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“About the time he threatened her nose with his finger, Peaseblossom lost her grip on the situation with the boys. The door… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's voice line the stroke… — Patricia Lee Gauch Copy Share Image
“Josh said, “Well, a good sense of humor would be nice. And a willingness to, you know, try different things.” “So, what,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Shelby..." Her tongue skimmed over his while he cupped the back of her neck more firmly. "Shelby," he repeated a moment later,… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“Who had uttered these words? They had not frightened me. They were clearly audible to me yet I knew the did not… — Flann O'Brien Copy Share Image
“I tapped around on my new Miracle Phone—a gift from Joseph—as I listened to the discussion about our next move. I wasn’t… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
That's what friendships are, isn't it? You don't all have to be the same, as long as you've all got the same… — Keren Woodward Copy Share Image
“I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so… — Julie Halpern Copy Share Image
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
“The problem starts at the secondary level, not with the originator or developer of the idea but with the people who are… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
A comic, all they have to do is, if you do something funny in a comedy club and you put it up… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
“She had a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner, and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
What I didn't realize is that the writing process for comedies is that you do your table read, and if you aren't… — David Morse Copy Share Image
Whatever I did, I always gravitated toward trying to be funny. If I was with friends, we were joking around. If I… — Colin Jost Copy Share Image
“I never knew she liked country music," Smitty said in awe. Yeah, that must make her prime mate material for a Smith.… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
