I do love comedy, I have to say. That's one of the greatest things about being an actor: You get to try… — Stuart Townsend Copy Share Image
“I have gone skiing in a bikini on a wonderful, sunny winter day. It is strange to think that a swimsuit would… — Margareta Magnusson Copy Share Image
“Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie’s mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of “Back! Foul beast of Hell!” followed… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“You should spend more time reading the Good Book and less reading all those novels. What are you going to tell the… — Jennifer Donnelly Copy Share Image
“Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'I was trying to make up… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“Oh, please, if its ass is feathered and waterproof, its a duck. Hello, pictures with little word balloons makes it a comic… — P.C. Cast Copy Share Image
We often laughed at others in our house, and I picked up the craft of being polite while people were present and… — Muriel Spark Copy Share Image
Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you… — Margaret Smith Copy Share Image
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Does this mean I get to be part of the team?” She clapped her hands again. “Yes,” Nate said. “No,” Gabriel said… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought… — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
“Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that… — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
“How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’ Not me, sir. Other people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny. My uncle's really funny. Everyone's really funny. You have to… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
In the entertainment industry all that anybody wants to do whether it's music or stories or dancing or comedy or whatever, they… — Stan Lee Copy Share Image
Tragedy isn't an easy thing to kill. It takes more than a turtle. Tragedy must be destroyed by someone willing to be… — N.D. Wilson Copy Share Image
“I spilled my cup of coffee straight onto my crotch. Superior heat retention has its drawbacks. I grimaced as the scalding liquid… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
How am I supposed to grow up and make life choices when I still use my fingers to count, and I still… — Slowly_fading Copy Share Image
“Try to think about more important things,' he said. 'Think about your soul, your character. Think about the freezer. It's a solid… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
“Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer You're the Doctor of my dreams With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare And your… — Monty Python Copy Share Image
“I'm a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it's never at the expense… — Jonathan Kieran Copy Share Image
“For a beverage, you asked for some “cherry-assed Kool Aid.” Okay, now you’re just adding “assed” in places where it doesn’t even… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“Let’s not get started on their uniforms. Superman’s stretchy spandex has nothing on Batman’s sculpted pecs.” He glared at her. “You cannot… — Alisha Rai Copy Share Image
“As I got closer to the fence, I held my shirt over my nose to block the smell. One stallion waded through… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“The elevator turned out to be slower than the damned train at Disney World. And it played “The Girl from Ipanema” in… — Leslie Langtry Copy Share Image
I like doing comedy, I like doing drama. Naturally I like to do, I like doing dramas, I like conflict, and when… — Matt Dillon Copy Share Image
People are always surprised when they see me speak live that I have a sense of humor. And I say, Well, you… — Gwen Ifill Copy Share Image
The Next Right Thing has humanity, humor, and insight to burn. Author Dan Barden takes the clay of the California hard-boiled novel… — George Pelecanos Copy Share Image
Comedy clubs were something that came to pass in the '80s, but toward the end of that, in the early '90s, people… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
Eat by Choice, Not by Habit combines the author's humor, deep compassion for others and knowledge about food in a way that… — Judith Hanson Lasater Copy Share Image
“People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream-- to hire great workers… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“Anna gave Charles a shy kiss on the cheek and strolled out of the room without a backward glance. Until she reached… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“« What about tonight’s show?” Griffin immediately remembered where he was. “Fuck!” His eyes bored into mine. “You know our songs. You play… — S.C. Stephens Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m going to die,’ he says. ‘Could we talk for a few minutes before you die?’ ‘Only if you… — Doug MacLeod Copy Share Image
“If this person is a blackmailer, El, I want you to have nothing more to do with it. Blackmailers are dangerous." Her… — Jennifer Ashley Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong, I'm under no illusions, I've got a very old-school, mainstream leaning to the way I present my comedy… — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
“Well enough,” I reply. “Remember, you’re drunk. And happy. You’re supposed to be lusting over your escort. Try smiling a little more.”… — Marie Lu Copy Share Image
