“Livie, I think you’re completely fucked up.” Chunks of cheesecake fly out of my mouth and splatter against the deck’s glass panel… — K.A. Tucker Copy Share Image
“It’s often said there’s no sense dwelling on the past, but David disagreed. Sometimes, there was nothing like a good old-fashioned sulk… — Daniel Thorman Copy Share Image
“My intellect, my wit—I’d forgotten I’d even possessed them, and they were dull and neglected, to be sure. But in the company… — Melanie Benjamin Copy Share Image
I thought I was going to be known for my humor. But then I had an idea for a story, which was… — Jay Asher Copy Share Image
“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!' Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
It may have been a comedy, or it may have been a tragedy. It cost one man his reason, it cost me… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“If we cannot defeat the assassin, then we must remove his reason for attacking. If we can capture or eliminate his employers,… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God… — Jonathan Winters Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong, laughter and memes and jokes are always really fun. But when you want to post something to be… — Ethel Cain Copy Share Image
“I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I felt like there was something wrong with me in my twenties but, when I started doing stand up comedy, I learnt… — Simon Amstell Copy Share Image
“You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones." He laughed.… — Barbara Elsborg Copy Share Image
Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Comedy is like fictional charm. It's the charm of fiction. Or the charisma of fiction. When you meet somebody who's immediately charismatic,… — Joshua Ferris Copy Share Image
“Yeah, sure. You know I can't stand the sight of blood, right?" "Said no one ever while dating a vampire," he quipped… — Krisit Cook Copy Share Image
The interesting thing is that you don't often meet a poet who doesn't have a sense of humour, and some of them… — Wendy Cope Copy Share Image
I feel like it's a dangerous and dark world if 'Sunny' becomes mainstream comedy. If you were to turn on CBS at… — Rob McElhenney Copy Share Image
So many more people recognise you and want to take up a moment of your time for a photo or a hello.… — Matt Smith Copy Share Image
“I believe in children praying--well, women, too, but I rather think God expects men to be more self-reliant. I don't hold with… — Joseph Conrad Copy Share Image
“I could write an epic poem about your thighs.” “That would amuse polite society rather too much, and I wouldn’t like that.”… — Christina Dodd Copy Share Image
'Something Borrowed' is looking like a romantic comedy, but it's a comedy. It shines as a comedy; it's definitely not just about… — Ashley Williams Copy Share Image
I think that gay people in some ways end up forming a very different sense of humour to straight people. We all… — Jason Sellards Copy Share Image
I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Babcock silenced himself when he caught a gratifying sight on the broker’s shelf—his finance book, Moving Ones and Zeros Around like a… — Jasun Ether Copy Share Image
I knew racial discrimination at its worst in the 1930s. I lived with the humility of it but I never lost my… — Nipsey Russell Copy Share Image
I worked on dramas before, I love sinking my teeth into something dramatic or a period piece, but there's something so fun… — Skylar Astin Copy Share Image
“Six express tracks and twelve locals pass through Palimpsest. The six Greater Lines are: Stylus, Sgraffito, Decretal, Foolscap, Bookhand, and Missal. Collectively,… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Businessman sat in his car calculating the net worth of everyone who passed and he noticed something peculiar. While some people were… — Andrew Kaufman Copy Share Image
“Though, when I'm proven wrong and the underprivileged masses storm my palace and burn me at the stake, I'll be sure to… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
That's why our comics are important: they're pointing things out and laughing at the same time. There have been horrible, horrible times… — Lynne Tillman Copy Share Image
“I once took a city with five men and a lame goat. If I can do that, you can convince the necromancers… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
The object of a comedy is not to correct morals or ridicule the vices of society; no, a comedy should depict the… — Vissarion Belinsky Copy Share Image
“What should I do?" I turned to Negin. "I don't know." "Are you a doctor or not?" I screeched. "As I have… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
“And if Bitsy was so all-fired set on everything being perfect, she wouldn't have scheduled the damn thing on a football Saturday.… — Lexi George Copy Share Image
“There will be others, many others. You’ll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
That's the nature of comedy. You always want to be improving and growing and changing with what's happening in the world. That's… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
It always astounds me that over the course of my career, and having lived in four comedy cities - New York, Boston,… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
![“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!' Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders.” quote by Celia Rivenbark](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/c89/celia-rivenbark-15261_bumper-sticker_i-really-loathe-the-bumper-sticker-proud_3109793.jpg)
