“I can't belly dance.' Yes, you can. It's in your fi--' Will you stop reading my goddamn file!” — Jennifer Rardin Copy Share Image
“there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humour.” — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I blush so easily. Even when I'm not embarrassed, I blush. It's so embarrassing.” — Brenda Hodnett Copy Share Image
That one password you use for everything and if anyone ever figured it out they could single-handedly ruin your entire life. — Jugi Steady Copy Share Image
Queen Elizabeth of England is the real fashion icon of the century. And she has a sense of humor. — Carolina Herrera Copy Share Image
My music is basically all about witty punchlines and lyric progression that is aimed to make you laugh or say "Woah." — Mike Stud Copy Share Image
The Sneeze' is comedy - it's five short plays and it was Chekhov showing his comedic streak. — Amanda Redman Copy Share Image
“And we all know how ladies get minks . . .” Popsy and Sandra chorused the answer together. “The same way minks get minks!” — Suzy Duffy Copy Share Image
“You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school." "Oh I believe it," I said, thinking… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“LEELA: 'To be, or not to be, that is the question.' That is a very stupid question! THE DOCTOR: It's Shakespeare. LEELA:… — John Dorney Copy Share Image
“Guns, she was reminded then, were not for girls. They were for boys. They were invented by boys. They were invented by… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
“Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor;… — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
“The notion that inspired play (even when audacious, offensive, or obscene) enhances rather than diminishes intellectual vigor and spiritual fulfillment, the notion… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“While you've been gadding about the countryside, we've held a meeting, and we've all of us decided that you must go.' In… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“It turns out that I will buy any yarn, even yarn I will never use, if the store discounts it by more… — Stephanie Pearl-McPhee Copy Share Image
People want to consume what you're putting out there, and you can create a really strong following of fans and admirers, and… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. — Jennifer Aniston Copy Share Image
“I've always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.” — Ivana Hruba Copy Share Image
“People who are easily offended should live on an island to avoid offenses!” — Mary Hall-Rayford Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“Oh my God. Oh my God, J.P. is in love with me. And we blew up the school.” — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
Seeing the energy of 'SNL' made me want to be a part of it. If that was a job, I thought, that… — Olivia Wilde Copy Share Image
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any… — E. B. White Copy Share Image
“We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
“I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished! — Augustus Copy Share Image
“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“Pause while reading a book only in case of two things: 1. To kiss 2. To sip coffee Too bad both are a luxury.” — Saleem Sharma Copy Share Image
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Humor is not the opposite of seriousness. Humor is the opposite of despair. — Conrad Hyers Copy Share Image
“The raging burning pain was excruciating, causing me to throw up. I did however manage to remain conscious. Yay me!” — P.A. Lupton Copy Share Image
“Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid.” — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
“Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse.… — Casey Scieszka Copy Share Image
I need to end up with someone who is strong, intelligent, independent, someone I really admire - sensitive, sensuous, warm, a sense… — Pam Dawber Copy Share Image
“Daca crezi ca am sa accept o asemenea propunere iti faci o idee falsa despre univers.” — Vian, Boris Copy Share Image
My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Overhead announcement at psychiatric hospital: Lithium is no longer available on credit. ” — Earl Mac Rauch Copy Share Image
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations. — Robert Anton Wilson Copy Share Image
