Humor Quotes · Page 368

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

— Don Rickles

Don't you love it when you're busy all you want to do is rest butttttttttttttt when your relaxing all you want to…

— MrAwesome

“So now you have it. The plot, the whole plot, and nothing but the plot.”

— Elizabeth Peters

A general truth is to have a good sense of humor. Roll with the punches of life's ups and downs. Laughing at…

— Jill Abramson

I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as…

— Jennifer Garner

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

— Jerry Coleman

“I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.”

— John Bellairs

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

— Jerry Coleman

You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about…

— Jim Gaffigan

“I have an almost miraculous power of escaping from necessities of this kind. Destiny itself has often been worsted in the attempt…

— Nathaniel Hawthorne

This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind.…

— Mitch Hedberg

I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a…

— Woody Allen

“What?” I whined, and tried to push his hands away. He cursed and gripped me tighter. “Wake up!” he yelled. When I…

— Jennifer Armintrout

I always like a little comedy because I like to laugh and sometimes drama is funny. But I definitely would love to…

— Rachel Sennott

“I was ten years old. I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day but I knew from commercials that one's…

— Tina Fey

Today's business and health care climate may not be pleasant. Cutbacks, pay cuts and layoffs do not make anyone's job easy. But…

— Allen Klein

“Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.”

— Ally Spina

Good humor and enthusiasm should be the sunshine ahead that will keep that shadow behind.

— Charles W. Field

“boys don't like smart girls they like push-around-in-a-cart kinda girls target-for-their-dart kinda girls meat-for-their-shark kinda girls”

— Casey Renee Kiser

I believe I was at the peak of my enlightenment when I use to say you want fries with that.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

— Steven Wright

I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny…

— David Javerbaum

“Sweet Katilyn, you called me remember? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you?…”

— Jessica Wennberg

You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen.

— Richard Herring

Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics.

— Luvvie Ajayi

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

— Adam Carolla

“Kadang-kadang, kata-kata yang kita ucapkan emang nggak sesuai sama mukamu.”

— Windhy Puspitadewi

I want to do comedy films, serious films - I admire the actors who fly under the radar but get loads done,…

— Craig Roberts

Girls want to be with guys who have a sense of humor-it makes them far more attractive to us.

— Drew Barrymore

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

— Rita Rudner

“A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of…

— P. G. Wodehouse

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

— Mark Twain

Putting any situation through our comedy lens always goes on in our heads.

— Sal Vulcano

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.

— Stephen King

A fit of laughter, which has been indulged to excess, almost always produces a violent reaction.

— Plato

A comedian needs more than just a sense of humour. He needs to observe everything around him.

— Vivek

“Keeping that man out of trouble was like trying to return a whore to chastity.”

— Lydia Dare

“Listen, do yourself a favor. If you ask someone about something such as, “How are the kids,” make sure you really want…

— Art Hochberg

Suffer love! A good ephitet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.

— William Shakespeare

“Listen, you’re not doing God any favors by praying. You’re doing yourself a favor.”

— Art Hochberg