Humor Quotes · Page 36

Another day gone and no jokes.

— Flann O'Brien

I thought I was funny as a kid.

— Jo Brand

very funny my sarcastic friend

— Cassandra Clare

“Less flapping, more flying!”

— Silvia Hartmann

“Little baby Hanuman was hungry.”

— William Buck

“It has its ups and downs!”

— Douglas Evans

Cynicism is humor in ill health.

— H. G. Wells

I am consistently inconsistent.

— Don Williams Jr

“Should I slap a cowboy hat on you and call you Sissy?”

— Roni Loren

New York is looked at as the grad school of comedy.

— Baron Vaughn

Everything is funny,only when its happening to somebody else.

— Anonymous

“To err is human, to purr is feline.”

— Robert Byrne

“Do I look like I want to be eaten alive after sex?”

— Nalini Singh

Laughter springs from the lawless part of our nature.

— Agnes Repplier

You can't deny the truth. And that's what makes smart comedy so good.

— Iliza Shlesinger

Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.

— Jerry Coleman

Comedy is a very personal thing, and some people will find it funny, some people wont.

— Stephen Mangan

“You both talk too much,” the kid says. “Shut up. Don’t make me tell you again.” We shut up, which I find…

— Karen Marie Moning

“Every heart beats so imperfectly... But there is always that someone who makes it feel perfect.”

— Muzzi Magnificent

“How can you ask me when i want to get married when you have yet to ask me if i will marry…

— Rochelle Alers

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

— Frank Carson

“Is that what you are calling it? A message? It felt more like emotional terrorism to me.-Zephyr”

— Amy Bartol

May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.

— Mary Anne Radmacher

A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

— Bob Monkhouse

“And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a…

— Terry Pratchett

One should not associate with controversy; one should always reach for the highest ratings; one should never forget that there is safety…

— Peter George Peterson

Especially in the world of comedy, it feels like you have to be proactive, in terms of pitching and trying to sell…

— Anna Faris

“But I saw your aura looking healthy again, then looking sick after a hunt. And you keep getting migraines. You should take…

— L.A. Weatherly

I feel like there is something about having a copacetic world POV that helps in making a comedy. Like, David Wain has…

— Kathryn Hahn

“[August] Derleth tried to prevent any other (non-Derleth-approved) writer from writing Cthulhu Mythos stories.If Lovecraft had wanted bad writers to avoid Cthulhu…

— Kenneth Hite

“... and you're the son of his youngest. He has no other children. Oh, your father's dead, by the way. Fell off…

— Scott Lynch

One seldom expects the country's president to adequately note the passing of a rocker, but Jimmy Carter's assessment of Elvis Presley's appeal…

— Molly Ivins

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

— Aesop

“Go fuck a cactus, classless cunt.”

— H.M. Ward

“I miss my suits...”

— Eoin Colfer

There's depth in my comedy.

— Yakov Smirnoff

Humor explained is humor denied

— Anonymous

“I'm the goddamn Batman.”

— Frank Miller

“Me Tarz-tosterone; You Estro-Jane”

— Tony Cleaver

“Dear, he do have a problem.”

— Taylor Ann Bunker