Eoin Colfer

We lost the crickets.

— Eoin Colfer

I don't like lollipops.

— Eoin Colfer

“I'm not impressed”

— Eoin Colfer

Trust me. I'm a genius.

— Eoin Colfer

My bugs don't have bugs.

— Eoin Colfer

Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.

— Eoin Colfer

“I miss my suits...”

— Eoin Colfer

“aurum est potestas”

— eoin colfer

Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir.

— Eoin Colfer

Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.

— Eoin Colfer

“Some people just needed to be stolen from.”

— Eoin Colfer

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

— Eoin Colfer

Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.

— Eoin Colfer

We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.

— Eoin Colfer

But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.

— Eoin Colfer

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

— Eoin Colfer

gold is power-artemis fowl I liked the artemis fowl series because its about a boy genius

— Eoin Colfer

“No Fletcher. Wake up, boy. Those are the flames of Hell. Dermont dropped out of school, so that's where he's headed. See…

— Eoin Colfer

“Orion to holly : im just a teenager with hormones running wild. And may i say young fairy lady, they're running wild…

— eoin colfer

I'm on my feet, pacing around the room, punching a fist into my palm, which I stop doing when I realise how…

— Eoin Colfer

“Hogwarts, it is not, thought the Doctor, realising that no one would appreciate this reference for almost a century.”

— Eoin Colfer

I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.

— Eoin Colfer

“ Time travel causes chaos, and chaos doesn't follow your rules. That's why it's called chaos, dummy. - Professor Charles Smart”

— Eoin Colfer

...How was your... eh... trip?” Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. “Um, eventful...

— Eoin Colfer

“The person who sat the kid down on the breadboard to cut off thier diaper with a huge knife was the most…

— Eoin Colfer

I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that despicable centaur Foaly hasn't…

— Eoin Colfer

(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR…

— Eoin Colfer

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?"…

— Eoin Colfer

Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she…

— Eoin Colfer

Holly frowned at her. "Glad to see you've forgiven yourself so quickly." "Harboring feelings of guilt can have a negative affect on…

— Eoin Colfer

“Sometimes, Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker would be thrown out a high window and that was the end of…

— Eoin Colfer

Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had…

— Eoin Colfer

“Toadstool mandarins are a form of toxic jellyfish whose tentacles are loaded with entheogenic venom. The effects of a mandarin sting are…

— Eoin Colfer

Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre." Myles: "In Paris." Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you…

— Eoin Colfer

“I am not qualified to deal with this. Why does everyone I meet seem to have mental problems? Ah...but did they have…

— Eoin Colfer

“So why don't we have a go? There are two of us.' Little Mike realized that his friend was actually serious. 'Two…

— Eoin Colfer

“Earth,” he began, ignoring the impulse to open his notes folder and count the words. He knew this lecture by heart. “Our…

— Eoin Colfer

Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly. There is important work to be done.” He winked at Butler. “Are you…

— Eoin Colfer

You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I…

— Eoin Colfer

Sig Sauer. Nine millimetres. Thirteen in the magazine. Big bullets. One of these hits you and it could blow your head off;…

— Eoin Colfer