Eoin Colfer

Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet.

— Eoin Colfer

“Artemis simple-toon”

— Eoin Colfer

The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.

— Eoin Colfer

“Scopes were sending high-res shots”

— Eoin Colfer

There’s always time for babbling.

— Eoin Colfer

“this was business.”

— Eoin Colfer

Good. Illegal is always faster.

— Eoin Colfer

Together we will be unstoppable.

— Eoin Colfer

“Mulch was not impressed. “I’m not impressed,”

— Eoin Colfer

When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

— Eoin Colfer

There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.

— Eoin Colfer

Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?

— Eoin Colfer

“Today he became a killer, or else a corpse.”

— Eoin Colfer

You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

— Eoin Colfer

Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?

— Eoin Colfer

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

— Eoin Colfer

“*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard”

— Eoin Colfer

Ma was using her for-company voice. Sweet on the outside but with an underlying death threat.

— Eoin Colfer

“That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart.”

— Eoin Colfer

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

— Eoin Colfer

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

— Eoin Colfer

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

— Eoin Colfer

Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows. Phase one of Opal's plan was complete.

— Eoin Colfer

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

— Eoin Colfer

Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?" All…

— Eoin Colfer

The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it.…

— Eoin Colfer

This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering…

— Eoin Colfer

“Now, Benny was no eejit. He wasn't expecting the Tunisian nationals to be Irish. What he did expect was darkish people with…

— Eoin Colfer

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from…

— Eoin Colfer

Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it." Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret…

— Eoin Colfer

“How could you...? How?" "Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your lead." ... He is really going…

— Eoin Colfer

...This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it.” Butler would…

— Eoin Colfer

“According to the Book, they had once been equipped with wings of their own, but evolution had stripped them of this power.…

— Eoin Colfer

So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?" The boy extended a dripping hand straight up. "My name is Orion.…

— Eoin Colfer

“Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one…

— Eoin Colfer

“Saint Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen Annual Report Student: Artemis Fowl II Year: First Fees: Paid Tutor: Dr Po Language Arts As…

— Eoin Colfer

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers…

— Eoin Colfer

Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look…

— Eoin Colfer

Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her…

— Eoin Colfer

“Maybe I owe you something too, human," she said, drawing her pistol. Butler almost reacted, but decided to give Holly the benefit…

— Eoin Colfer