Eoin Colfer

'Insanity... I like it."

— Eoin Colfer

Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.

— Eoin Colfer

“If we make it through this, we will be friends. Bonded by trauma.”

— Eoin Colfer

...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

— Eoin Colfer

Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.

— Eoin Colfer

“The officer holstered his weapon, drawing out a set of cuffs.”

— Eoin Colfer

Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?

— Eoin Colfer

“We're being led by an idiot with a crayon.”

— Eoin Colfer

My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!

— Eoin Colfer

“Butler shot one of the half dozen diners a fierce glare, just in case she might be planning something. The woman must…

— Eoin Colfer

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.

— Eoin Colfer

A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.

— Eoin Colfer

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

— Eoin Colfer

The two of them went down in a heap, with not even a turkey to break their fall.

— Eoin Colfer

“All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.”

— Eoin Colfer

I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.

— Eoin Colfer

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

— Eoin Colfer

The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're…

— Eoin Colfer

No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better…

— Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang…

— Eoin Colfer

If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.”…

— Eoin Colfer

Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me…

— Eoin Colfer

“She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counselors are nothing more than misguided do-gooders with degrees." -Artemis…

— Eoin Colfer

“Deacon laughs. ‘People like you and me, Dan, trouble sniffs us out. Maybe you can hide out for a while, maybe even…

— Eoin Colfer

“Ich höre mir das nicht länger an. Jede Sekunde, die ich mit dir spreche, ist eine verlorene Sekunde." Da blickte Root ihm…

— Eoin Colfer

“Careful with that," said the Doctor. "No need to get carried away." Aldridge spun the scalpel like a baton. "Yessir. Careful is…

— Eoin Colfer

“Hey, bodyguard. You better get down to the gymnasium. This jumbo pixie guy is killing your sister." "Really?" said Butler, unconvinced. "Really.…

— Eoin Colfer

“Oh, how I wish I had already regenerated to become the tall one with the dicky bow, thought the Doctor, who occasionally…

— Eoin Colfer

“There are always a few bored audience members at an opera, especially by the time act four comes along. Those particular eyes…

— Eoin Colfer

“You know how they put the bubbles in this stuff?” Vinyáya’s mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. “I thought it…

— Eoin Colfer

Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. "Wait! Just wait," she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye…

— Eoin Colfer

“How do I love thee? wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally...obviously eternally-that goes without saying." Holly blinked…

— Eoin Colfer

Why no aggressive action?" Foaly squirmed in a harness built for two-legged creatures. "Oh yes, why no aggressive action? How I long…

— Eoin Colfer

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.

— Eoin Colfer

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

— Eoin Colfer

Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.

— Eoin Colfer

Oh,It's going to be so easy to kill you",scoffed Opal.

— Eoin Colfer

“Now, Master Fowl, let’s talk, shall we?”

— Eoin Colfer

Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers

— Eoin Colfer

“Perhaps we can win, he thought. But there will be no happy ending”

— Eoin Colfer