“har anche sakht va ostovar ast dood mishavad va be hava miravad.” — Marshall Berman Copy Share Image
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems” — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
“I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” — Lyndon B. Johnson Copy Share Image
“I suppose I've been better. Or maybe not, come to think of it. I suppose you could say my life is relatively… — Jonas Jonasson Copy Share Image
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Cops were distrustful; they always wanted to know why you decided to dig a hole in the middle of nowhere.” — Lou Harper Copy Share Image
Comedy springs from the ludicrous; but the ludicrous is stuck in the muck of reality, resolutely hostile to what is impossible. — Cynthia Ozick Copy Share Image
Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
“The human race can be roughly divided into two categories: ailurophiles and ailurophobes - cat lovers and the underprivileged.” — David Taylor Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror.” — Amy Summers Copy Share Image
Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of… — Tracy McMillan Copy Share Image
“Before there was an American Story, before Paterson spread before Oscar and Lola like a dream, or the trumpets from the Island… — Junot Diaz Copy Share Image
“Want to go upstairs and play ball?" "Now, you're talking. Naked basketball. Always my favorite." "Loser gets fucked first." "Jesus, Thursday, every… — Mercy Celeste Copy Share Image
My presence isn't simply about "character" - I'm present in every part and particle of the thing, in the sound and rhythm… — Charles D'Ambrosio Copy Share Image
“These flies were half the size of my fist. They came at you and stuck to you with a single-minded purpose you… — Terri Cheney Copy Share Image
“Chancellor Gerhard Schröder has several times made statements to the effect that we Europeans should not cultivate a superficial anti-Americanism. But mine… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Lynn, she saved half our faction from this stuff," says Marlene, tapping the bandage on her arm from where the Dauntless traitors… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
“Sahara knew she should be worried about the fact that she’d been in bed with a man who’d caused that kind of… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
You have to be very cautious that you're hitting the right beats and making sure it's funny, but at the same time… — LeToya Luckett Copy Share Image
