The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
We will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream. Spoken by Bottom, Act I Sc. 2 — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“I don’t trust people with empty-stomach breath to tell me what taste is.” — Tracie Egan Copy Share Image
If you're a girl who raises her voice a lot, I assume your mom didn't hug you enough when you were a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“His skin is so hard and rough, it’s like shaking a piece of tree bark.” — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple!… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“The therapist, he thought, and it bothered him a lot more than it should have. After all, he had nothing permanent with… — Jennifer Cruise Welcome to Temptation Copy Share Image
“Where did you get that candy again?" Leven asked, worried. "The pile said 'flavored'," Clover answered back, his face a chocolatey mess.… — Obert Skye Copy Share Image
“We fiction writers are a brazen lot, are we not? For we, in our passion, embrace just enough truth to consecrate our… — Val Edward Simone Copy Share Image
“We got distracted. Ty said I could come to the tasting." "Maddy—" "Please. He's going to put my wine in." David glanced… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
Humor is rare in science fiction... there's so little of it that it automatically reminds you of other heroes with that acerbic… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
The 1930s - a Golden Age for American humor, mainly because everything else was going so badly. The wisecrack was the basic… — Wilfrid Sheed Copy Share Image
“There was a sort of gallery structure in the roof space which held a bed and also a bathroom which you could… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Some people remember the sixties better than others do. Some weren't even there, some who were there were not really there, and… — Tom Hays Copy Share Image
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“I was running on a treadmill earlier today and my moobs sagged so low that I tripped.” — M.S. Knight Copy Share Image
“I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels.” — Nicole Luiken Copy Share Image
Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does. — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
There's a sense of humor within the Australian culture that prevails when one is in a rather difficult situation. — Guy Pearce Copy Share Image
As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. — Rik Mayall Copy Share Image
Caregivers need humor not only for the healing aspect but also to lift our spirits and inspire us to keep doing what… — Jim Breuer Copy Share Image
I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys,… — LeBron James Copy Share Image
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Id is fery boedigal!" he said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Cabdain Blood is fond of boedry - you remember de abble-blossoms. So?… — Rafael Sabatini Copy Share Image
“The heaviness of loss in her heart hadn't eased, but there was room there for humour, too.” — Nalo Hopkinson Copy Share Image
Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“ Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction.” — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
“The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise.” — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“What I know definitively about life at this age … is absolutely nothing.” — James Qualls Copy Share Image
“Anger is like sex urge, once gratified, the inner voice calls you a stinking fool.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
“ Rhett: Here’s the problem. I am not the sexual equivalent of an espresso machine. ” — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
“I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Demons, werewolves, zombies--they're all supposed to be for entertainment purposes only.” — Jen Naumann Copy Share Image
The one and only thing over which you have complete and total control is how you focus your own mind. Luckily, this… — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“All charming people are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something… — Jason Sudeikis Copy Share Image
