Humor Quotes · Page 338

There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.

— Denise Mina

My doctors told me this morning my blood pressure is down so low that I can start reading the newspapers.

— Ronald Reagan

I'm happy and feel myself to be fortunate that I've been gifted with this art of comedy, where I can make people…

— Sunil Grover

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

— Woody Allen

I love to bring humour into my work. Because comedy is not a huge part of the art world. And big-business film…

— James Franco

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

— Rodney Dangerfield

An adequate share of humor and laughter represents an essential part of the diet of the healthy person.

— Norman Cousins

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

— Adam Ferrara

“All my life, I have taken satisfaction in finishing things in order that I may experience a sense of achievement, regardless of…

— Kathleen Rooney

I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I love comedy. David's Lynch the only person I've worked with more than once who sees me as a specific thing -…

— Laura Dern

Just because I text // talk to you, doesn't mean I wanna insert my penis in your vaginal canal. Vagina isn't hard…

— Jayy

“It is all very well to say that all princesses are good and beautiful and charming; but this is usually a determined…

— Robin McKinley

We censure others but as they disagree from that humor which we fancy laudable in ourselves, and commend others but for that…

— Thomas Browne

I think comedy in the last 5-7 years is as good as it's ever been in America. I like it when people…

— Peter Farrelly

Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made…

— Sean O'Casey

“Life's a party. So smile and eat shit and pretend it's fucking caviar.”

— Nenia Campbell

Comedy can take you a lot further in getting your point across. People are entertained, and then, by being entertained, they get…

— Maz Jobrani

Comedy can be fun no matter what you're playing. It always has the potential to be a blast.

— Ty Burrell

“But I might—” he bit out. “Tell me you’re not a fucking virgin.” “No, I’m not a fucking virgin. Virgins have yet…

— Lora Leigh

I think a sense of humor vital to get through life: It's a great link between people and can be very effective…

— Rita Tushingham

I get to do physical comedy! When do women get to do physical comedy? Very rarely.

— Michaela Watkins

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

— Robert Frost

People look upon me primarily as a comedian. I'm trying to get away from that, though I do like comedy.

— Fred MacMurray

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

— Bill Engvall

It is really sad that there's no recognition at the national level for comedy.

— Vivek

“Lord love you,” Ms. Eulalie said, “but you tell lies like Ms. Franny sings: hard to listen to and even harder to…

— Kristin Walker

“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
”

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Mr. Li gives Dale and me free lessons for life. Dale hates it. I enjoy kicking others, but would do better in…

— SheilaTurnage

“People who discriminate understand that they are a stranger to others.”

— Jestoni Revealed

“As a rule, I believe people shouldn't follow rules; rules should follow people.”

— Eric Micha'el Leventhal

They say God laughs when you make plans, that's why I make appointments and sometimes reschedule.

— Behdad Sami

I enjoy doing these silly little videos, and a lot of stuff online is stuff I actually created for my live comedy…

— Tom Lenk

I was a teacher before comedy, but it was good because no two days were the same, which this job is too.

— Romesh Ranganathan

“I think it's good to smile at everybody so that everyone knows you love everyone. It's good for human pacifism.”

— Aimee Bender

“Who the hell calls at two in the morning?" "Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says. "Very funny,”

— Lauren Oliver

“We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27”

— L.M. Montgomery

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.

— Kathy Griffin

There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on…

— Leslie Jordan