Humor Quotes · Page 334

I'm not a natural comedian, as an artist. I studied comedy growing up. I would watch Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Martin…

— Brandon T. Jackson

I'm actually into the idea of doing stand-up comedy, as a joke. You know how people do karaoke for fun? Well it…

— Keeley Hazell

“How well I know you by your deeds and how invariably you succeed in living down to what one expects of you!”

— Alexandre Dumas

Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it.

— Anonymous

“Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.”

— Terry Pratchett

I don't think that because you die and move on to somewhere else that you lose your sense of humor.

— Peter Jackson

The number one premise of business is that it need not be boring or dull. It ought to be fun. If it's…

— Tom Peters

“How many great gems were lost to thought and not put down to pen. You can but think of just a few…

— L.F. Young

“She then figured Cash would catch her. His legs were longer and even though he was standing behind the counter and she…

— Kristen Ashley

If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her…

— Gene Wilder

Every black film feels like it's Tyler Perry, and that just needs to stop. But people seem to slowly be looking for…

— Issa Rae

“It didn't seem like Sergeant Doakes would give up before my conversion to a beer-bellied sofa ornament was complete, and I could…

— Jeff Lindsay

“How the hell did you know where I was?" Prophet demanded. Cillian said simply, "Don't bother searching your phone for chips." "Then…

— S.E. Jakes

When something really affects you, it's hard to find the humor in it sometimes. There's are a lot of reasons why there…

— Sarah Cooper

“Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both…

— Douglas Adams

“James had been acting a little weird. After waking up yesterday, he'd been a little bit distant. It might just be the…

— Anne Tenino

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”

— Bill Watterson

I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time!

— Anonymous

I don't think people understand what comedy is supposed to do. We will observe things, we will make fun of things.

— Neal Brennan

“Even though it was a tiny role, I was very proud to be a part of the comedy, which became a cult…

— Anjelica Huston

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.

— Dylan Moran

“Really?" I say. "Can you be any more conceited?" He nods. "Yes. Yes, I can.”

— Wendy Mills

“Love is nothing because those who do something for the love of it do it for nothing.”

— Mark Forsyth

“Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age.”

— Tracy Brogan

“You will be so dead, dear Sister. Make telpon dari tadi kayak Kroasia ada di sebelah Jakarta aja. Huahahaha”

— Sitta Karina

Comedy is harder than drama, because with comedy you're expecting a result..you make them laugh. [If] they ain't laughing then you're screwed.

— Billy Bob Thornton

Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk?

— Anonymous

“Crazy people who are judged to be harmless are allowed an enormous amount of freedom ordinary people are denied”

— Katherine Paterson

Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious.

— Mitch Hedberg

The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is its about 50 weeks too short.

— Jarod Kintz

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

— Abraham Lincoln

A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.

— Chic Murray

“I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were…

— Michael Summers

I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it's normal.

— Fred Willard

Laughter is the best medicine, daily dose of laughter keeps you active, your mind fresh and most of all makes you happy.

— Anonymous

I was always humorous by nature but, maybe, no one noticed it. Or, maybe, I looked just too intense or serious to…

— Abhinav Bindra

After the first few readings in comedy venues I did begin to write for laughs. There's something so gratifying about stimulating laughter.

— Aaron Belz

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

— Doug Stanhope

I have always felt that the rise of what became known as alternative comedy was born out of the loins of the…

— Tony Robinson

I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!'

— Ashton Kutcher