“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
I'm a big fan of Albert Brooks, Nichols and May. I'd like to follow in their footsteps and do comedy films. — Illeana Douglas Copy Share Image
My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies. — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
I prefer that laughter shall take me unawares. Only so can it master and dissolve me. — Max Beerbohm Copy Share Image
“The authorities are excellent at amassing facts, though they do not always use them to advantage.” — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Women comedy is different than men comedy. Guy comedy is very aggressive, it's about insulting each other, name-calling, and kind of busting… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
“Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy - Carol Burnett,… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
“One knows so well the popular idea of health: the English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Perhaps the difference between a professor and a bus driver is that the professor can say stupid things with complete authority while… — Les Back Copy Share Image
Generally speaking, cancer - not that funny of a thing. When you hear about it, you don't go, 'Oh, hilarious!'... But within… — Lennon Parham Copy Share Image
All women, from the countess to the cook-maid, are put into high good humor with themselves when a man is taken with… — Samuel Richardson Copy Share Image
“My name is Kevin James Breaux and I am an author. Why does that always sound like I am introducing myself at… — Kevin James Breaux Copy Share Image
I've never heard of a comedy that hasn't had reshoots, especially for the ending of a movie in a comedy. — Bradley Cooper Copy Share Image
The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge Copy Share Image
“Hey,” he pulled away and put his hand on my face. “What are you thinking about?” “Your butt,” I admitted.” — Diana Peterfreund Copy Share Image
“Did you ever see anybody so disgusting: said lightning to thunder, "never," growled thunder, "let's give him the works.” — William Steig Copy Share Image
The comedy of each age holds up a mirror to the people of that age, a mirror that is unique. — Edith Hamilton Copy Share Image
“Companies may never come up with a better office communication program than a lunch break.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care, I just do comedy. — T. J. Miller Copy Share Image
“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
I didn't grow up with my dad, so it was always very funny to me, and always has been, what an important… — Kiefer Sutherland Copy Share Image
If we lose our sense of humor, then we most certainly have lost our perspective, and therefore our happiness and joy. — Senoraroy Copy Share Image
“Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
When you walk through life with a dirty mind, the simplest things seem funny — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“The whole damn century would've made more sense backwards. Where we ended is worse than where we began.” — Rebecca Makkai Copy Share Image
“Used a replica gun to steal a replica sportscar and experienced a replica of remorse” — Steve Aylett Copy Share Image
“I sometimes think if I did not write I would be a madwoman. Now I am a sane woman with a lot… — Kendall Hailey Copy Share Image
“If the Super Bowl is the ultimate game, how come there is another one next year?” — Duane Thomas Copy Share Image
“My heart is so light, I think it might be made out of air. It might float up and escape through the… — Robin York Copy Share Image
“What's the difference between depression and South America? If you really had to, you could conquer South America.” — Doug Westberg Copy Share Image
“What do you think of Christmas?" "I like it," she said. "I think we should have it every year.” — Liz Flaherty Copy Share Image
“Im sorry it's just a little case of PMS that's all...Im just one big emotional wreck...Could you guys go get me some… — Shawn Wayans Copy Share Image
“Can you believe the man rhymed 'Rumplestiltskin' with 'crumpled napkins'?” — Christopher Healy Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. — Oscar Levant Copy Share Image
My feeling is there is always that possibility for humour in tragedy. In life they go together. — Tara Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
