Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The Doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The government of man should be the monarchy of reason: it is too often the democracy of passions or the anarchy of… — Benjamin Whichcote Copy Share Image
“Don’t make a feller wait too long. A feller waiting on a gal can get ornery’er than a huntin’ dog that’s tree’d… — Colleen Houck Copy Share Image
Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“And I’d have you know, through all of it, I still had perfect nails! Because I am completely swell.” — Sarah Scheele Copy Share Image
“It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy night. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
“I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face… — Molly Ringle Copy Share Image
I listen to very little music, particularly contemporary. If I listen to it, it's going to be my own music, some arrangement… — Kate Bush Copy Share Image
A lot of people who do drama say comedy is the hardest thing, but, not wanting to sound like a bighead, comedy… — Nick Frost Copy Share Image
“I'm seriously going to be sick, C.P.," I said and turned away. "Hey, serial killer dude!" I called out toward the street.… — James Patterson Confessions The Private school Murders Copy Share Image
In school, I was playing old men and women, babies, Russian people, and all sorts of weird parts - a lot of… — Taylor Schilling Copy Share Image
“There really is no sense in pretending to be normal. Just be you because the moment you do, weirder things happen. Crazy… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
Well, I came down to LA initially to join The Groundlings, which is an improv comedy group. I didn't get in, of… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
“The narrow-minded find it convenient to create stereotypes, and then try to fit everybody, everything and every situation into those stereotypes.” — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“The Catholic wisdom of the people... provides reasons for joy and humor even in the midst of a very hard life.” — The Catholic Church Copy Share Image
When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, 'Who did this to you?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think there's something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
Maybe if God gives you a handicap, he makes sure you've got a few extra doses of humor to take the edge… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it,… — Adam DeVine Copy Share Image
Sleep deprivation may not be good for your health but it's great for your sense of humour. — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
“Let come the forces of night! We will stand!" "We will get the hell out of here is what we will do,"… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
The physical part of comedy is as hard as a lot of action movies. It scares me, but in a way that… — Rachel McAdams Copy Share Image
“Is it white wine? Red tastes like vinegar.' 'Of course it's white wine, I'm Japanese.” — Natasha Pulley Copy Share Image
The comedy and character interaction on 'Atlantis' is what makes it so different from most science fiction shows. — David Hewlett Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for my grandpa, I'd have absolutely no sense of humor and I never would have gotten my start in… — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“Before I could turn to look up, a voice boomed from the heavens: "What the heck is going on down there?” — Kat Falls Copy Share Image
Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul. — William Archibald Spooner Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I am tired of doing stupid comedies. Though comedy has given me the breakthrough in the industry, I constantly feel the need… — Paresh Rawal Copy Share Image
“You know that Kate called Walter a heartless bastard?" "And an asshole. I am quite proud.” — Aimee Carter Copy Share Image
“At one point I thought I broke his face, but he turned out to just be laughing really hard.” — Vali Chandrasekaran Copy Share Image
In my mind, if you write a comedy where human beings experience pain, you're just being realistic. — James L. Brooks Copy Share Image
I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times. — Carlos Ponce Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, 5% Friday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I think a lot of comedy is about making fun of people at the expense of somebody. — Phil Dunster Copy Share Image
