Humor Quotes · Page 254

“Morality is only evidence of low blood pressure.”

— Jack London

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

— Mel Brooks

The masters of the comic spirit are often our prophets.

— Penelope Gilliatt

I don't like it when I outweigh my men.

— Patricia Briggs

I was always funny, but I didn't know being funny was a gift.

— Niecy Nash

In this desperate way, I started many a comedy.

— Charlie Chaplin

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone.

— John Requa

“.. a simile is not a lie, unless it is a bad simile.”

— Mark Haddon (Author

I actually love Scorsese comedies. He's an underrated comedy director. I think his comedies are some of the best comedies ever made.

— Julie Delpy

“Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other.”

— Arthur C. Clarke

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

— Dylan Moran

“Smiles are a funny thing and laughter is hilarious. I smile sometimes when I am delirious.”

— Casey Renee Kiser

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday,…

— Jimmy Carr

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.

— Kareena Kapoor

“We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings.”

— Aimee Bender

“Sit back and enjoy. And remember: Always be careful what you say around your kids.”

— Donna Chapman Gilbert

“You have a minute and a half left." "Fine," she snapped. "Then I'll reduce this conversation to one single fact. Today I…

— Julia Quinn

“Is Loor a man's name or a woman's name?" Aja, TRB. It is the name of a female warrior." Loor, TRB. What…

— D.J. MacHale

There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with…

— Louis C. K

Laughter is essential to our equilibrium, to our well-being, to our aliveness. If we're not well, laughter helps us get well. If…

— Peter McWilliams

“That is, while many people prefer a happy ending (a classic comedy), sometimes a message can be communicated more powerfully by a…

— Douglas M. Beaumont

A great model for this is the way that Dante calls on Virgil at the beginning of 'The Inferno,' 'The Divine Comedy,'…

— Edward Hirsch

“I didn't realize there was a ranking." I said. "Sadie frowned. "What do you mean?" "A ranking," I said. "You know, what's…

— Michael Thomas Ford

“I have been to hell and back. It’s a place where all antagonist meet and most often hug and ask:-------------------------------why didn’t we…

— PK gyewu Akrofi

My sex life is like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.

— Anonymous

When comedy fails, seriousness begins to leak back in.

— Susan Sontag

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

— Robert Benchley

“In the middle of all the ordinary--something extraordinary shows up.”

— KariAnne Wood

One loses everything when one loses one's sense of humor.

— Ayn Rand

“An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.”

— Brian Spellman

Comedy is hard. Any idiot can have an opinion.

— Ann Coulter

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

— Steven Wright

Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

— Barbara Mertz

You know, comedy and horror are flip sides of the same coin.

— James Murray

“This quote will self-destruct in…4…3…2...1...Just kidding...Or am I?”

— Craig Benzine

“I think you underestimate the appeal of blowing shit up.”

— Debra Dunbar

“Calling Sol stubborn was like calling an outhouse aromatic.”

— Suzie Quint

Sometimes I was so funny I couldn’t stand myself.

— Moira J. Moore

“My dad was nothing but a bingo call.”

— Ripley Patton

“This was one of those times that a pint just wouldn't cut it.”

— Elizabeth A. Reeves