“Between birth and burial, we find ourselves in a comedy of mysteries.” — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel. — Horace Walpole Copy Share Image
“It's kind of shocking to hear Toby called a babe; sort of like calling God a studmuffin.” — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Let me tell you: the only way to get rid of dragons is to have one of your own.” — Evgeny Shvarts Copy Share Image
“The little weasel ripped all the buttons off my couch. Ivan Petrovsky, pg 350” — Kerrelyn Sparks Copy Share Image
Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I don't understand half of what you say and the other half doesn't make sense. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
“Like vampires and extremely rich people, black folk can sense one another. Use your Spidey Sense (Blacky Sense?). Use your blackdar to… — Baratunde Thurston Copy Share Image
I, measuring his affections by my own, Which then most sought where most might not be found, Being one too many by… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“You know what I need to do?" "Buy earrings?" "I need to fully embed myself in Gabriel's life. I need to get… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my… — Macklemore Copy Share Image
“Hey, maybe you could invite the new guy to your party." Sarah suggested. Mark rolled his eyes. "Sure, I'll just ask the… — K.S. Marsden Copy Share Image
“I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“In the meantime, how about us doing some more sister things together?" Alys snorted. "Like what?" Oh, I don't know. Slay a… — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
I'm a comedy geek so anything comedy related, whether that's standup shows, improv shows, I'm all over that. That's my favorite way… — Rashida Jones Copy Share Image
“the one that can hurt you the most are the one that you really love” — Salman Aditya Copy Share Image
“He who smiles in a crisis; has finally found someone to blame.” — Anonymous Hedge Fund Manager Copy Share Image
“There are two rules for sucess: 1. Never tell everything you know.” — Roger H. Lincoln Copy Share Image
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
