Humor Quotes · Page 182

“I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense.”

— Lewis Carroll

Finding a cure for anorexia should be a piece of cake.

— Charles Elba

Doing a format parody is one of my favorite things to do in comedy.

— Adam Conover

By my rambling digressions I perceive myself to be growing old.

— Benjamin Franklin

Have a sense of humor to break the tension in times of great toil.

— Colin Powell

Comedy is the last refuge of the non-comformist mind.

— Gilbert Seldes

Оf course you can only write comedy when you're smoking weed.

— Scott Aukerman

The first prerequisite of an advanced being is a sense of humor.

— Richard Bach

I love making comedy. I never stopped loving it. I will continue to love it and I can't believe that I get…

— Mike Myers

Friends don't let friends be Packers Fans... EVER! (I don't care how much paint your mother huffed during her pregnancy!)

— Rock Cowles

“It's common knowledge that shiny rocks are preferred among human females.”

— Melissa Landers

“The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom.”

— R.M. ArceJaeger

When I was in film school, it was said that all good films were characterised by some form of humour.

— Lars von Trier

You don't expect to be touched by comedy. But when it happens, it's beautiful.

— Jermaine Fowler

I love comedy, and I always wanted to go that way, but I felt so passionate about drama.

— Annabelle Wallis

“I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so…

— J.M. Colail

“Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about…

— Bridget Zinn

“Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. “Oh, very nice! I’m definitely keeping this!…

— Rick Riordan

A single assembly is liable to all the vices, follies, and frailties of an individual; subject to fits of humor, starts of…

— John Adams

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a…

— Jimmy Carr

“In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank…

— C.E. Murphy

“I’m tempted to kill the general first, then his staff officers. Sometimes you just want to eat pudding early. All the same,…

— David Gunn

“There was a movement to my right, and I snuck a quick glance to see Zee and Gabriel coming out the garage…

— Patricia Briggs

If women were created from ribs then why do they taste like fish?

— Rock Cowles

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

— Dick Van Dyke

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.”

— Will Rogers

“He who smiles in a crisis; has fund someone to blame.”

— Anonymous

“In sooth, thy life sounds passing strange and shitty.”

— Austin Grossman

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

— Jerry Coleman

“Time,” said Arthur weakly, “is not currently one of my problems.”

— Douglas Adams

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

— Jerry Seinfeld

“The great thing about knowing stuff is that anyone can do it.”

— Ken Jennings

Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones.

— Lisa Lutz

“No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk.”

— Rachel Hawkins

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

— Anonymous

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”

— Amy Neftzger

“It is the heart that is unsure of its God that is afraid to laugh.”

— George MacDonald

“Crud. What was she supposed to do? Protect herself or the pretzels?”

— Stephanie Rowe

I pray to the shrine of 'Mr. Show.' It saved sketch comedy.

— Michael McKean