Humor Quotes · Page 181

“The truth isn't laughable And the trust isn't funny at all.”

— David Levithan

“You ought to sue that son of a whore”

— Stephen King

“Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts.”

— Helen Stringer

“Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.”

— Elias Schwartz

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

— Steven Wright

“I kind of think that everyone who disagrees with me is wrong.”

— John Green

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

— Jimmy Carr

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

— Brian Celio

“Don’t tell me you have OCD about this?” “OCD, ADHD—pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I’d have…

— Cyma Rizwaan Khan

“Well, of course. But, we already knew that. I mean... I am kind of a big deal-Matt Carter”

— Natasha Larry

It's a lot of people's goal to be the lead in a movie, and that was never my goal. I just wanted…

— Paul Rust

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does!

— Debbie Gibson

I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time.

— Ben Stiller

My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

— Jerry Seinfeld

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you…

— Sid Caesar

I decided I would go to NYU so I could get into the comedy world and have legit housing, and my parents…

— Ilana Glazer

“I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me…

— Laurell K. Hamilton

Conversation never sits easier upon us than when we now and then discharge ourselves in a symphony of laughter, which may not…

— Richard Steele

“Craig: 'When I used to drink, I binge drank…and I’m kind of like that with Doctor Who. I save up a lot…

— Craig Ferguson

“First of all, you must never speak of anything by its name -- in that country. So, if you see a tree…

— Aleister Crowley

Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for…

— Chelsea Handler

“The others would then fall silent and she would continue about doped gallium arsenide detectors, or the ethanol content of the galactic…

— Carl Sagan

“What I have been asking myself for years is: WHY?! Why kill yourself in the gym? Why try to avoid a little…

— Sara Anzellotti

“I’m too big of a fan of sin and debauchery to be a Christian.”

— J.C. Wickhart

I was open to anything, but comedy was what I really loved.

— Sam Lloyd

“ I wax poetic On the beauty of sewers Real short poem. Done ”

— Rick Riordan

Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience.

— Carl Reiner

“Failure is just success rounded down, my friend!”

— Ryan North

I graduated from Improv Olympic. I used to do standup comedy.

— Redfoo

I feel like the luckiest person in comedy.

— Rosie Jones

“I'd hate to be a balding man named Harry Harrison.”

— Judy Baer

Shared laughter creates a bond of friendship.

— Lee Grant

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

— Chris Messina

“Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.”

— Shannon L. Alder

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

— Bo Burnham

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

— Ray Romano

“It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate.”

— Andrea Hurst

I've done comedy on stage, in fact it is one of my strong points.

— Neeraj Kabi

“To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult.”

— Santosh Kalwar