Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“No, Miss Palmer. What is bizarre is that I currently have a vagina .” — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night.. You were balancing ten tiny footballs on your nose while dancing with a turquoise… — Amy Summers Copy Share Image
“Well, then, what's the plan now? You can't stay here forever.' My plan was indeed to stay there forever.” — Olivia Sudjic Copy Share Image
Gravity disappears again, and we rise up off the floor like spooks from a grave. It's like the Rapture in here every… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
My father was always much more willing to laugh than to go to the darkness. — John Carter Cash Copy Share Image
“My bookcase is all yours." I walked to the door. "I've just decided that those are my favorite five words in the… — Kasie West Copy Share Image
Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'. — Donald Rumsfeld Copy Share Image
“Lockley would've hugged him if it weren't physically impossible for a puffin and a walrus to embrace.” — Barry Wolverton Copy Share Image
There was something about that form of comedy that's just difficult. It never really felt like you could just fully commit to… — Donal Logue Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We moved into a cabin in the countryside. I couldn't handle the spiders. You… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
“We journalists love writing about eccentrics. We hate writing about impenetrable, boring people. It makes us look bad: the duller the interviewee,… — Jon Ronson Copy Share Image
You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come up to me and… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
Nothing so uncertain as general reputation. A man injures me from humor, passion, or interest; hates me because he has injured me;… — Henry Home, Lord Kames Copy Share Image
“These little discoveries about my blood are coming about as hard and fast as a racehorse kicking me in the nuts and… — S.L.J. Shortt Copy Share Image
“The jolly old elf’s nose was red, but not from cold — rather, from the brutality of a dozen boxes of Kleenex.… — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low Copy Share Image
“But the main reason you should read this is that I don't see why I should have to know all these terrible,… — David Strorm Copy Share Image
“Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.” — Dakota Dawn Copy Share Image
“An ass is an ass, no matter how many first names you give it.” — Uncle Jessie The Joy of Life Copy Share Image
“I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant!” — Tranea Prosser Copy Share Image
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
