Humor Quotes · Page 143

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

— Don Rickles

I want people to think I'm funny, and to make them laugh.

— Josh Blue

When I say something funny, I don't laugh.

— Blake Lively

If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must first break your mirror

— Francois Rabelais

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

— James Thurber

“The best jokes in life, are the lies that have come out of your mouth”

— Melinda

“Even in Hell, we need to keep our sense of humor, sis.” (Rayea)”

— Anonymous

“He’s practicing his Constitutional right to be a jackass.”

— Julie Miller

But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.

— Steve Coogan

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back…

— Steven Wright

“If life is a bowl of cherries… do you know how many virgins it took to make that…”

— Josh Stern

Of all the things God created, I am often most grateful He created laughter.

— Charles R. Swindoll

It's true, of course, humor is very important in my life, as you know. That's the only reason for living, in fact.

— Marcel Duchamp

“Maybe there's a computer down in the basement," she said, "and we need to keep punching the numbers in.”

— Peter Clines

Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul. No one should ever take life so seriously that they forget to laugh at…

— Anonymous

“He really did posses the ability to be extremely annoying when he set his mind to it.”

— Jen Turano

When I lived in Argentina I had to change my sense of humour to fit in - I became a slapstick character…

— Vick Hope

“Amy Curry," I could still hear him intoning, "never end a sentence with a preposition!" Irked that after six years he was…

— Morgan Matson

I'd like to think my brand shares some of those characteristics we like to think of as classically American - a certain…

— Michael Bastian

“I feel guilty looking at those "People of Walmart" photos you see on the Internet. It's not cool to make fun of…

— Celia Rivenbark

I didn't want to write sketch comedy after 'Mr. Show.' I felt like, after 'Mr. Show', why would you want to go…

— Brian Posehn

“Christy said. "It's just weird, your seeing him like that. What are you going to do?" "Nothing. What can I do?" "Maybe…

— Robin Jones Gunn

“I thought privately to myself that with so many omens and prophecies to warn them off, heroes were really awfully stupid to…

— Moira Katson

“After an hour of gliding though the crowd and two glasses of tepid wine later, Penelope had reached the spiritual state of…

— Anya Wylde

“Her hair was simply red and her coat was deacon blue.”

— Robert Rankin

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.”

— Will Rogers

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

— Dick Van Dyke

“In sooth, thy life sounds passing strange and shitty.”

— Austin Grossman

“He who smiles in a crisis; has fund someone to blame.”

— Anonymous

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

— Jerry Coleman

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

— Jerry Seinfeld

“Time,” said Arthur weakly, “is not currently one of my problems.”

— Douglas Adams

“The great thing about knowing stuff is that anyone can do it.”

— Ken Jennings

Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones.

— Lisa Lutz

“No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk.”

— Rachel Hawkins

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

— Anonymous

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”

— Amy Neftzger

“Crud. What was she supposed to do? Protect herself or the pretzels?”

— Stephanie Rowe

“It is the heart that is unsure of its God that is afraid to laugh.”

— George MacDonald

“Aunt Beulah could hear the dust moats collide in a sunbeam.”

— Wendell Berry