I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective. — David Cross Copy Share Image
Its not the smell that I get attracted to, its her eyes that makes me fall apart ;) — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
Every African has a responsibility to understand the system and work towards it's overthrow. — Walter Rodney Copy Share Image
Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, 'My God, you're… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I loved playing Sweetie in 'Mubarakan.' It was chaotic and funny; it was sort of a magnum unfold in a chaotic way. — Ileana D'Cruz Copy Share Image
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can't shuffle… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay.… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Hahahaha...you so funny...but not as funny as your face... My photography teacher in 8th said this. lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is a bit of a worry. — Prince Charles Copy Share Image
It's so weird to think that before Twitter, all of this nonsense just stayed in people's heads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
At the Touch of love, Everyone becomes a poet At the Touch of Breakup, Everyone becomes a philosopher .. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm singing a song and some idiot thinks the can join with me… dumb fuck this isn't glee — Khadijahhomes Copy Share Image
COP: sir, have you been drinking? MAN: no! COP: papers.. MAN: Scissors, I WIN! — Ana Copy Share Image
You know the Hulk? That is what the Green Giant looks like when you don't eat your vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We must invite the Cross to do its deadly work within before we can be free. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
Trust is something that you have in a condom when the partner is not your spouse — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can't choose your potential, but you can choose to fulfill it. — Theodore Roosevelt Copy Share Image
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I dont get it. Moving on. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear. — John Grant Copy Share Image
You are the only one who gets to decide what you will be remembered for. — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
Some people's relationship statusshould be in a relationship with___, while cheating with __ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not about how fast you go. It's not about how far you go. It's a process. — Amby Burfoot Copy Share Image
Would you rather have an overachieving 3-Star, or an underachieving 5-Star? — Bret Bielema Copy Share Image
