It's one thing to be funny in a tweet. It is another to be funny for an hour. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
One Of Those Days Where Your Just Watching Dragon Ball Z All Day And Eating Popcorn. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May all that is unlived in you blossom into a future graced with love. — John O'Donohue Copy Share Image
Every night when everyone's asleep, I grab my phone and I start reading all our old conversations. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Gone are the days when the old country doctor would drive out to your house and amputate your infected leg for a… — Cuthbert Soup Copy Share Image
I had a cordial relationship with all my heroes - some, like Jeetendra or Shatrughan Sinha, are very funny. Amitabh, on the… — Hema Malini Copy Share Image
I was inspired by comedy channels. I loved that they got to do sketches and could be funny and crude and make… — Eva Gutowski Copy Share Image
“WAIT, WAIT! JUST one more!” “Bliss, there are children waiting.” And they probably hated us, but I was just so glad to… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
“Nick snatches the picture from the man's hand and laughs. "This is funny to you, asshole?" Nick tosses the picture back behind… — Jennifer Loren Copy Share Image
A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
When killing them with kindness doesn't work, I hear a baseball bat is really effective. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. — George D. Prentice Copy Share Image
On no other ground Can I sow my seed Without tearing up Some stinking weed. — William Blake Copy Share Image
One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. — Bill Murray Copy Share Image
Before you ask for Rosh Hashanah off, make sure you know what Rosh Hashanah is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
By the time I was 25, I was a full-on neg head - and not in a funny way, either. — Lou Sanders Copy Share Image
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Instead of using technology or wearing technology constantly, we will start becoming technology, — Neil Harbisson Copy Share Image
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I love you like crazy, And u call the mental hospital and said he is mental co'z he is crazy… — Rohit Copy Share Image
I could go back in the direction I had come from, or I could go forward in the direction I intended to… — Cheryl Strayed Copy Share Image
