I didn't notice him coming, but he didn't seem to be looking for an autograph signature — George Harrison Copy Share Image
If you don't have the best of everything, make the best of everything you have. — Erk Russell Copy Share Image
Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize that my voice is a lot worse than my problem. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
I would like to make one thing quite clear. ... I never explain anything. — Julie Andrews Copy Share Image
Let nothing of the truths that have been defined be lessened, nothing altered, nothing added, but let them be preserved intact in… — Pope Gregory XVI Copy Share Image
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“I love your car.” I tell him as he starts the engine. “Thanks. I do too.” He says steering the car to… — Jannat Bhat Copy Share Image
When someone chucks Skittles at you and tells you to taste the freakin rainbow, take them and sling them down their throat… — Guardian Copy Share Image
“If you hadn't stolen my bride away in the night, Rhysand, I would not have been forced to take such drastic measures… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
I grew up with a lot of really, really funny girls. We were encouraged to be funny. Our parents didn't filter us.… — Chloe Fineman Copy Share Image
We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.' — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Hearing yourself sing in the shower and wondering why the hell you haven't made an album yet ;D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hello, modeling agency? Yes! Umm.. I just got 37 likes on my new profile pic, I think I'm ready to go pro. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It is laughable how often good manners interfere with my survival.” — Andrew Levkoff Copy Share Image
You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong. — Ben Feldman Copy Share Image
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. — Laurence J. Peter Copy Share Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The biggest lie I tell myself is I dont need to write that down, I'll remember it — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
“He really needed to stop being so hot while his hands were on me.” — Veronica Blade Copy Share Image
Lack of sleep can lead to an increased desire for sex and substance abuse — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
